can we just leave the animals alone? is that possible?
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Fast forward to 5 minutes ago...and elderly lady walked up and asked for Mrs. D. She said, "My daughter called about some books on Greek mythology for her 9th grade year old daughter...." (no wonder the mom has to do all the work! imagine it...a 9th grade toddler?)
Okay, the girl's busy.
I get it. (non-approving)
Mom needs to come in to help her catch up due to a horrendous extracurricular obligation.
I get that too. (non-approving)
But sending in Grandma? It needs to get to the third generation back?
(uh, hell no?)
Not only would my mom have laughed in my face if I'd said I was too busy to do my homework, could she do it for me, a slap could possibly have been on the way for cheekiness. My option (intentional non-pluralization) would have been to drop some of the extra stuff and get my freakin' school work done.
This is not an unusual situation...sadly enough, it happens each and every day around here. Kids just too busy to do their homework. Too busy to read so the parents come in for audiobooks which I guess the kids play while they sleep, praying for osmosis.
Obviously I had it good going to a rural high school where your choices were football, basketball, and baseball...and only two of those for girls. My high school put all their money into football (big surprise that close to T-town) and everything else just had to scrape by. Consequently there was very little money for any fancy academics either. We had on AP class option: American history. Only one teacher qualified to teach chemistry and physics so it got taught alternating years. Luckily for my own mental health and the safety of West Blocton High School, I never took physics. Roomie very nearly burned my face off attempting to light a Bunsen burner in chem class, so I thought I'd just cut my losses. Reading requirements: I read A Midsummer Night's Dream in 10th grade and A Tale of Two Cities (blech!) in 12th. That was it. Luckily I was a voracious reader on my own or I'd be like many of my classmates with a mind like the void of interstellar space....also with children and divorces under my belt before 5 year reunion. Seeing them all at the 10 year reunion was depressing enough.
Anyway...KP, as a parent, I expect you to make KP, Jr do all of his own homework, regardless of extracurricular activities.
Okay, if the Olympics are involved I'll yield my position, but that's it!
Friday, September 21, 2007
No longer do I associate Wyoming with just mountains, gay bashing, and hicks. Now I'll add sexism and stupidity into the mix as well. You go, Wyoming! I'm just kidding about all that. I think this campaign is great. It sure fights those stereotypes, and we know how librarians hate stereotypes. Forget about the shushing spinster, or even the helpful overweight middle-aged white woman. Now truckers and farmers and rubes all over Wyoming will know that librarians are HOT! Those rubes will want to drive to the nearest library for some steamy book on book action! And you know the book that naked mud flap gal is reading is a porn novel. You can just make out the title if you squint closely. I'd tell you what it is, but I don't want to spoil it for you. In addition to being a HOT promotional campaign, it might also be a way for librarians to get dates. When I first saw the mud flap girl, I wondered if there were a lot of single librarians in Wyoming who wanted to date rubes and creeps. Now the rubes and creeps will be flocking to the library in droves! Lots of potential dates for those lonely librarians. I realize this isn't the point of the ad campaign, but it sure is a nice perk.So keep it up, Wyoming. And when you've attracted a whole new class of lowlifes who come to the library because they want to ogle hot librarians, you know what you have to do to keep them. Infoporn literacy and private Internet viewing booths. It looks like you've already got the stripper.
What do Bridget Fonda’s shortest role in history and a man with a chainsaw for a hand have in common? Nothing so far as I can see, but Sam Raimi obviously thought differently when he wrote and directed Army of Darkness. This 1992 film is supposed to be picking up where the Evil Dead series left off, but I don’t have that to refer to so here we go.
Ash goes from a clerk in S-Mart’s housewares division to the savior of a 14th century civilization. What exactly they thought about seeing a man, an uprooted tree and a ’73 Oldsmobile fall from the sky is debatable, but I see some serious comedic genius! And hey, Danny Elfman helps out on the score with the “March of the Dead” theme during the major battle at the end….sound-wise, it just doesn’t get much better than Danny Elfman! He’s been the composer on the score for some of my fav movies: PeeWee’s Big Adventure (shut up, that’s a fun movie!), Summer School, Beetlejuice, Scrooged, Batman (another great Michael Keaton flick), Edward Scissorhands (Johnny Depp, *purrrrr* I can hardly wait for Sweeney Todd!), Men In Black, Sleepy Hollow (another *purrrrr* goes out to JD), Red Dragon, Corpse Bride…..the list could go on and on
The Ol’ Faithful of blood after the first guy goes in the pit, the real wuss of a zombie down in the pit as well as the creature that comes out of the wall, looking like something from under Predator armor, get this rollicking…uh, adventure?...off to a good start. Nothing like a good chainsaw battle to really get the blood pumping, so to speak.
The old lady/witch in the castle is another of my favorite scenes. The cinematography (and I use the term lightly) seems more like someone attached the camera to a paint shaker and let that baby rip! And the armoring up scene is very A-Team (and incidentally, the other great movie to play off the beloved TV show, Napoleon Dynamite, …you know, where he and Pedro put up their election posters…is another of my favorites).
The surreal scene in the windmill is worthy of Dali. All the little Ashes beating big Ash up, the creepy eyeball growing out of his shoulder, meeting his evil twin. Bruce Campbell could really give Jim Carey a run for his money in this role. Ash’s parting line, “Good?…bad?…I’m the guy with the gun.” Then good Ash cuts up bad Ash with a chainsaw…good stuff.
Like Goldilocks, Ash has three choices once he gets to the cemetery. There’s the airplane toilet Necronomicon, the Harry Potter “Care of Magic Creatures” textbook Necronomicon, and then the fiasco that Ash makes of the real Book of the Dead. Here it gets Indiana-Jones like since our mental-giant hero can’t remember the proper incantation to safely remove the book from its pedestal. Enter the skeleton army!!!!
We’re very nearly at the end of the movie now and so far there has been ONE passing scene with some very nearly bare boobs, but nothing else. This may be a winner for the Marathon! There are so many good allusions here, whether they intended them or not. So far I’ve seen hints of Indiana Jones, the A-Team, Bedknobs and Broomsticks, Willow, the Lord of the Rings, Braveheart and 300(an extra special *puuuurrrrrrr* for Gerard Butler...). I charge you with watching it to see if you can pick them out, or to gain ammo with which to brand me InSaNe :) Give it your best shot! I dare you!
Another of my favorite scenes…a skeleton, on fire and screaming as it attacks the castle. It stops screaming when its head blows up. Does anyone else see the problem here? Then, just as all seems lost, men falling prey to skeletons from all quarters, the refitted ’73 Oldsmobile makes another appearance. Helicopter blades do just as much damage to skeletons as to mortal men apparently. I would have loved to have been one of the grips or best boys (girls?) or whatever on the sidelines throwing fake skeletons at people to simulate attacks! What fun!
I’ve watched this movie before, but am now vetting it for use in the library’s inaugural B Movie Marathon which will take place from 12pm-6:30pm on October 23rd. I’m going over it to do a profanity and nudity check…it’s just reality that while a certain amount of both will pass muster, I don’t want to be called in the director’s office because of complaints.
So someone else won’t have to reinvent the wheel, here’s a catalog of the “language” present in Army of Darkness. Out of context, they seem even more silly and corny if that’s even possible
I feel mucho compelled to mention that this movie—crappy effects, corny dialogue, horrible hairstyles and all—was 200% better than Dragonwars, which I did manage to sit through last Friday. Considering I usually love all things draconic, that’s pretty dreadful. The one thing the movie did right? I don’t believe I have EVER seen an Eastern style dragon in CGI before! Plenty of the western variety, breathing fire and wreaking winged havoc, but none of the long bodied, catfish whiskered variety and IT WAS AWESOME! So don’t waste time with the whole hour and a half of PAINFULLY BAD ACTING. Rent it on DVD and watch the two serpents dukin’ it out at the end. As soon as they stop fighting, turn it off or your good mood will evaporate with the onset of these gits trying to get another line or two into the reel. *blech*
Where the hell?
You ain’t leadin’ but two things right now, jack and shit….and jack just left town.
Into the pit with those bloodthirsty sons of whores!
Wait a minute! You gotta understand, man! I never even saw any of these @$$holes before!
Damn you! Damn you!
Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up!
I don’t want your book. I don’t want your bull$h1t! Just send me back to my own time!
Yo, she-bitch! Let’s go!
I got it, I got it! I know your damn words, alright?!
Get the F#@* outta my face!
We had a deal! You wanted the damn book! I got it for you….I did my part!
Dig damn you! Dig faster!
I will command every worm-infested sonofabitch that ever died in battle!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
IBM: I don't know how to do that.
Me: You just let it play through one time, then it'll be completely downloaded and you can start it from the beginning.
IBM: So I let it play through, then download it again.
Me: No, you just let it finish downloading, then click replay.
IBM: But it's a thirty minute video!
Me: That's a large downloa.....
IBM: *interrupting* I GET IT. So this is not a fixable problem?
Me: I'm sorry sir, but we're sharing bandwidth with 41 other libraries. Downloads that big are going to be slow.
IBM: not listening, has already turned his hot-pink-1980's-band t-shirt-covered-by-a-red-and-white-checked-(think picnic table cloth)-jacket-with-khaki-shorts-and-birkenstock-self around and stalked off there are also some christmas bells involved in the outfit...it's hard to explain AND look at, especially when I'm pissed
Luckily for me, it's time to go home and Itchy Butt Man will no longer be my problem!
1. Cut the boring parts
I try to leave out the parts that people skip. ~Elmore Leonard
Unless you’re writing for personal reasons alone, you need to consider the attention of your readers. There’s no point is publishing content that isn’t useful, interesting, or both.
2. Eliminate unnecessary words
Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very;” your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain
I used to feel that using words like “really”, “actually”, or “extremely” made writing more forceful. It doesn’t. They only get in the way. Cut them and never look back.
3. Write with passion
Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. ~William Wordsworth
It’s not hard to realize that unless you’re excited about your writing no one else will be.
4. Paint a picture
Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. ~Anton Chekhov
Simply stating something is fine, but when you need to capture attention, using similes, metaphors, and vivid imagery to paint a picture creates a powerful emotional response.
5. Keep it simple
Vigorous writing is concise. ~William Strunk Jr.
Maybe it was all those late nights, struggling to fill out mandatory 10 page papers, but many people seem to think that worthwhile writing is long and drawn out. It’s more difficult (and effective) to express yourself in the simplest possible manner.
6. Do it for love
Write without pay until somebody offers to pay. ~Mark Twain
When you’re just starting out it’s hard to decide where to begin. So don’t. Just start writing. A blog is a good place to start. The most valuable benefit is the feedback.
7. Learn to thrive on criticism
You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance. ~Ray Bradbury
Writing means putting yourself at the mercy of anonymous hecklers and shameless sycophants. Learn to make the most of the insults and distrust the praise.
8. Write all the time
Quantity produces quality. If you only write a few things, you’re doomed. ~Ray Bradbury
The way you define yourself as a writer is that you write every time you have a free minute. If you didn’t behave that way you would never do anything. ~John Irving
9. Write what you know … or what you want to know
If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts; and if any would write in a noble style, let him first possess a noble soul. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Learn as much by writing as by reading. ~Lord Acton
Successful writing is all about trust and authority. It makes sense to write about your area of expertise. If you don’t have an expertise, reading and writing is the best way to develop one and put it on display.
10. Be unique and unpredictable
I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite. ~G.K. Chesterton
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. ~Oscar Wilde
Zest. Gusto. How rarely one hears these words used. How rarely do we see people living, or for that matter, creating by them. Yet if I were asked to name the most important items in a writer’s make-up, the things that shape his material and rush him along the road to where he wants to go, I could only warn him to look to his zest, see to his gusto. ~Ray Bradbury
Following what works will only get you so far. Experiment with new styles, even if it means taking criticism. Without moving forward, you’ll be left behind.
Mr. B: (without preamble and over my shoulder as I was shelving at the time)I have a business proposition for you.....
Me: oookaaaay? (a little hesitant, you never know...)
Mr. B: combination vet's office and taxidermist. They're motto: No matter what happens, you get Fido back.
Me: *braying laugh that draws attention and is quickly muffled* I then made him promise to buy a ticket to the annual wine festival from me so I can work on getting my comp ticket...one down, 9 to go!
I did not have a joke to tell in return and was appropriately ashamed...I'll have to do better!
Now for the bad 'un!
Itch Butt Man came up to the desk
IBM: Do you have any of the ear buds up here?
Me: No sir, I'm sorry but we don't keep ear buds at this desk. They sell them downstairs at the front desk.
IBM: *grimace (which is pretty awful considering he is missing all front teeth between the canines)* You don't have any ear buds up here? Maybe hidden away in a desk drawer or something?
Me: No sir, I'm sorry but we don't keep ear buds at this desk. They sell them downstairs at the front desk. (playing on my theory that if you repeat the same thing over and over, the patron may eventually get the f-ing point)
IBM: sighed, loud and long-suffering, before trudging off for the elevator, thankfully not scratching his butt this time around...
yay! Somedays I love public service and some days......
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
The system is totally awe-inspiring. The pulsar spins 182 times per second; that’s faster than a kitchen blender’s blade. The second star was detected because as it orbits the pulsar the pulsar orbits it. It turns out that the second star, the one being drained, orbits the pulsar at a distance of 230,000 miles — the same distance the Moon orbits the Earth. However, instead of taking a month to orbit as the Moon does, this star orbits the pulsar once every 55 minutes! Imagine: an object that is far more massive than Jupiter, being tossed around at well over one million miles per hour! Neutron stars are scary.
Science is so cool! I wish I were capable of understanding more of it....
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
All this to say that I decided to try my hand at the DVD meme and the first item that popped up was a lovely pornographic film, circa 1974. With a main character like the down-on-their-luck Uranus Studios, it's got to be good... I wonder what the sound track would sound like :)
10. Mother’s Boys (1994)“Rated R for language and for a mother’s sociopathic behavior”
9. Indian in the Cupboard (1995)“PG for mild language and brief video images of violence and sexy dancing”
8. All I Wanna Do (1998)“PG-13 for teen sex-related material, language, and substance misuse”
7. The Hunted (1997)“R for strong bloody ninja violence and a humorous drug related scene”
6. War of the Buttons (1994)“PG for mischievous conflict, some mild language, and bare bottoms”
5. Alien vs. Predator (2004)“PG-13 for violence, language, horror images, slime, and gore”
4. Skateboard Kid II (1995)“PG for brief mild language and an adolescent punch in the nose”
3. Bushwhacked (1997)“PG for language and a mild birds and bees discussion”
2. Twister (1996)“PG-13 for intense depiction of very bad weather”
1. Jefferson in Paris (1995)“PG-13 for mature theme, some images of violence, and a bawdy puppet show“
everyone loves a bawdy puppet show, bare bottoms, bloody ninja violence, substance misuse and a mother's sociopathic behavior....don't they?
I liked that article...it made me feel good/better/best about my profession and my place in it. I have my hair in a bun AND get tattoos and piercings. I'm I caving to the new conformity? Am I out on a bold new limb? I've never thought about it that hard...I just like tattoos. I like researching and picking them out; I like tattoo parlors and the people in them; I like the looks that I get when I stroll in with my bun and sensible shoes. Does that make me a conformer in my nonconformity? I'm confusing myself here. It's just that I don't think about conformity or the lack there of when I've gotten my tattoos/piercings in the past...I just wanted them for me. Doesn't that make me normal??? In the AL's article:
If you have to fight the stereotypes, the stereotypes have already won. News articles about how hip we all are just make us seem desperate. If you're really hip, you don't have to tell people. And if you're a normal person, you don't have to tell people, either. They'll just know.
Do you think this is true? I don't believe I'm desperate for people to see me for who I am...maybe on a personal level, but I've always believed I'm very comfortable in my role as a librarian and how I associate/get along with others in my profession. AL's blog entry, well written and humorous as it may be, still made me feel a little ashamed of myself. Who am I kidding? I am a female, 30 year old, single, overweight, mild mannered (most of the time) librarian. I have a cat, a fairly environmentaly friendly car, get mani's and pedi's regularly, floss diligently. Am I a nerd attempting to put on some wolf's clothing?
Does anybody have a spare $300 dollars you could give me...I would say "loan", but that would imply a level of interpersonal commitment that just isn't going to happen, sorry ;)
smart but still, somehow, poor...
Monday, September 17, 2007
If you do nothing else today, read this blog post from C.M. Priest (good author too, by the way). You'll never go out without first checking your brolly ever again :)
Sunday, September 16, 2007
I should have put something next to it for perspective, but it's on the inside of my forearm right up against the bend of my elbow and is about the size of a 4x6 index card...maybe a little bigger. Definitely bigger than most people figure a librarian should have :) Katie's (then) 3 and 4 year old daughters named him Rainbow Rambin...I have no idea, but it's cute :)
This was an awkward picture to get because I tried to take it myself, got the timer mixed up and the first time ended up taking a VERY UNEXPECTED nude photo...I'm surprised the camera didn't burst into flames and run screaming from the house! I got the little buggar figured out though, and here we are. My niece named this guy Thadeus when she was just 5 years old and I have no idea where she even heard that name at that age, but Thadeus it is. He's my special guy :)
I'm still in the planning stages for my next one, which will be book/literature related. So much to choose from!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Favorite book when you were a child: Justin Morgan had a Horse/Marguerite Henry
Top five authors: Geraldine Brooks, Tracy Chevalier, Joanne Harris, Laurell K. Hamilton, and Nora Roberts
Book you've faked reading: Things Fall Apart/Chinua Achebe, A Tale of Two Cities/Charles Dickens, and the first chapter of The Scarlet Letter/Nathaniel Hawthorne (Go Hester!)
Book you're an evangelist for: Year of Wonders/Geraldine Brooks, The Virgin Blue/Tracy Chevalier, and Lulu Meets God and Doubts Him/Danielle Ganek
Book you've bought for the cover: NEVER!.....although my mom used to pick romance novels that way :)
Book that changed your life: The Canterbury Tales/Geoffrey Chaucer
Favorite line from a book: "Beauties in vain their pretty eyes may roll. Charms strike the sight, but merit wins the soul."--Alexander Pope
Book you most want to read again for the first time: The Hero and the Crown/Robin McKinley
Book you've reread: I'd have to take a week off work to begin the first leg of answering this question. Books were invented to be reread people! I've read the cover off of Dark Horse by Mary Herbert and repaired it with a cut up cereal box. I reread tons of books, oodles, bunches, untold hundreds (maybe thousands!). I love the printed word! I am nerd, hear me roar!
Ha! Definite proof that PMS makes the ladies all crazy! I win! Or, more accurately, I lose!
Some of the others I have enjoyed included "Scientific article or death metal album?" and "Adventures with debilitating dentures." Good stuff...go check it out!
Your Score: House Greyjoy
54% Dominant, 36% Extroverted, 45% Trustworthy
Brutal. Opportunistic. Unforgiving. Rising again, harder and stronger, you are of House Greyjoy.
You are a dominant personality. Although you are neither the strongest nor the most cunning, you bend the weaknesses of others to your own advantage. Extremely opportunistic, you are the Wendy Pepper of Westeros, letting everyone fall over themselves and get tangled up before springing lightly over the pile of bodies. When others criticize you, you’re more likely to cut out their tongue than lend an ear. Your arrogance is hard-wired into you to such a degree that you barely recognize other human beings to be of your same species, let alone your equals.
You are also introverted, which means that nobody knows what the hell is going on inside your head. Spontaneous and extremely impulsive, your actions will always take people by surprise. As such, it’s unlikely that you have many friends or allies in the wide world; people just don’t find you trustworthy. And there’s a reason for that, too, which is...
You’re untrustworthy! You are opportunistic, greedy, stubborn, and more-than-willing to climb over anyone you must to get to the top. You are unwilling to compromise on anything, and instead of using strategy, you try to eliminate as many of the other players as possible. Let’s face it—by conventional moral standards, you’re just not a very admirable person. Perhaps if you stopped laughing when people cut their fingers off at your dinner parties...?
Representative characters include: Aeron Greyjoy, Asha Greyjoy, and Victarion Greyjoy
Similar Houses: Baratheon, Frey, and Lannister
Opposite House: Tully
When playing the game of thrones, you play it buck naked, flappin’ in the breeze.
|Link: The Song of Ice and Fire House Test written by Geeky_Stripper on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test|
Your Turn, Katie!
Monday, September 10, 2007
Over at Kimbooktu, it has come across the tag com lines to put your first name into Amazon's book search and blog about a title of interest that comes up, so *snicker* here goes! Gosh, how will I decide between these!
....and many, many more! I was named after this particular automotive superpower, so I don't knock it...I even have a Holley Equiped sticker on my car :)
You've been tagged!
This is from one of my new favorite blogs, The Book Inscriptions Project, where people send in interesting finds of book inscriptions. It seems to be a tide of used book finds and while I'm sure the person who initially made the inscriptions would no doubt be heartbroken to know that their (mostly) heartfelt gifts ended up in a thrift store/used book store/garage sale/etc, I would love to see an inscription I'd written end up here. As I've never inscribed a book when I've given it as a gift, I'll be sure to do that AND be thoughtful with the remarks...you never know who'll see them.
That being said, here's what the inscription above says:
To have met someone and felt alive again is wonderful…Read this and realize that all is possible. You are beautiful, exciting, sexy, but most of all the possibilities that seem——are real. Thanks for being at Rodney’s on Saturday night.
P.S. You bet I want to make love to you, but then the whole world wants to.
You could decide she's a lady of ill repute...but I think this is one of the most romantic things I've ever seen...and it's a good (though quite sappy) book as well! As I said in my comment on the blog entry where I initially found this,
Way to go Neal! Where ever you are!
...you may now return to normal bitter, sarcastic programming!
Friday, September 7, 2007
It's a long one, over 9 minutes, but SO worth every second! If you can make it to the end it goes all Ringu on you! fun, fun, fun!
In particular, KP might enjoy it the most...maybe?
what do ya'll think?
I skimmed through them and chose some of the more interesting-sounding to add to my 1000 SITES TO VISIT BEFORE YOU DIE so be sure and go to the PC Mag article, you may just find a treasure for yourself!