Friday, January 8, 2016

new year, new kitten

You may or may not have noticed a picture of Binky on the sidebar. It's still there, and will remain, if you care to go look.

We had a magnificent run, she and I.  I got her in the fall of 1997, I believe, as a tiny little ball of fluff only weeks old.  She was with me from about my sophomore year of college until just this past July.  I'm 38. I'm tearing up just typing it. She consoled me through some of the worst years of my life, through a lot of strife with my parents, depression in grad school, and my first (and I'm proud to say, only) deeply broken heart. I miss her terribly.

Wasn't she beautiful?

In early September, my sister in law texted a photo of a kitten and not much else, other than he was 5 weeks old and I folded like a wet cardboard box.  I've told people for ages that I live alone but, until Binky was gone, that hadn't actually been true.  The day I had her put to sleep and I came home from work to what was then a TRULY EMPTY HOUSE was an eye opening moment in the pet ownership department.  I had talked to her.  She had talked to me.  I don't believe it mattered to either of us that we had no clue what the other was saying (though we seemed to understand each other just fine).

So my friend CVH and I picked up another little ball of fluff only weeks old and I named him Captain Howdy.  Yes, after the demon from The Exorcist.  When he's REALLY bad, I call him Pazuzu and post it on social media with the hashtag #captainhowdythatsnotverynice.  I enjoy it.  And I enjoy him.  He's chewing up everything I own, including my hands and feet, and I'm loving every minute of it.

Welcome to Holley's House, Captain Howdy!

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Movies and Reading of 2015

Boy, was I off the pace for reading this year! One year it was 170, this year 44.  I've had a lot of fun though.  And I read some really great books in amongst the erotica ;-)

Unfortunately, I also gained a lot of weight.  Enough to affect the fit of my clothing.  I've been wearing a lot of leggings and skirts because I can't get into my pants and I am NOT buying bigger clothing.  I said last year was the year I was going to get down to my goal weight of 180 and I failed miserably.  Epically.  Unequivocally.

Moving on, I'm going to reach my goal this year.  It's time to get it done and finally get my Edgar suit removed.  It'll put me in debt for the rest of my natural life and I'll look like I was attacked by a shark for a while, but I haven't worked this hard just to wallow around in pounds and pounds of empty skin.  I started last year off at 214, got down to 202 midyear, then skyrocketed back up to my current 226 at year's end.  My self esteem, not to mention my arthritic knees, have suffered.  Time to turn it around!  

Books of 2015

  • 44. Interview with the Vampire by Ann Rice
  • 43. Outcast: A Darkness Surrounds Him by Robert Kirkman et al
  • 42. The Only Child by Guojing
  • 41. The Walking Dead: Book 12 by Robert Kirkman et al
  • 40. The Walking Dead: Book 11 by Robert Kirkman et al
  • 39. The Walking Dead: Book 10 by Robert Kirkman et al
  • 38. Buttercups & Daisy by Elizabeth Cragoe
  • 37. Last Things by David Searcy
  • 36. 30 Days by Christine d'Aho
  • 35. Kitchens of the Great Midwest by J. Ryan Stradal
  • 34. A Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay
  • 33. The End of Overeating by David Kessler
  • 32. The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson
  • 31. Wabi Sabi by Mark Reibstein
  • 30. Color by Victoria Finlay
  • 29. The Voices by F. R. Tallis
  • 28. Salem's Lot by Stephen King
  • 27. Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee
  • 26. Unwind by Neal Shusterman
  • 25. The Green Hills of Africa by Ernest Hemingway
  • 24. Spinster by Kate Bolick
  • 23. The Map of Lost Memories by Kim Fay
  • 22. The Best of All Possible Worlds by Karen Lord
  • 21. Something Like Winter by Jay Bell
  • 20. The Forbidden by Frank Tallis
  • 19. One Last Thing Before I Go by Jonathan Tropper
  • 18. The Collector by Nora Roberts
  • 17. Clariel by Garth Nix
  • 16. 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do by Amy Morin
  • 15. Don't Mess with Texas by Christie Craig
  • 14. Shovel Ready by Adam Sternbergh
  • 13. Wicked Waves by Sharon Kay
  • 12. The Most They Ever Had by Rick Bragg
  • 11. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon
  • 10. The Night Belongs to Fireman by Jennifer Bernard
  • 9. Chained by Night by Larissa Ione
  • 8. Finding the Lost by Shannon K. Butcher
  • 7. Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie
  • 6. Saga: Volume 4 by Brian K. Vaughan & Fiona Staples
  • 5. The Yellow Birds by Kevin Powers
  • 4. Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell
  • 3. Burning Alive by Shannon K. Butcher
  • 2. Craft Fail by Heather Mann
  • 1. Maplecroft by Cherie Priest

At the Movies 2015

  • 17. Krampus
  • 16. Star Wars: The Force Awakens
  • 15. The Hateful Eight
  • 14. Sisters
  • 13. Crimson Peak
  • 12. The Martian
  • 11. The Visit
  • 10. Auntie Mame (AL Theater)
  • 9. Magic Mike XXL
  • 8. Terminator Gynesis
  • 7. 40th anniversary of Jaws in theaters!
  • 6. Jurassic World
  • 5. San Andreas
  • 4. Avengers: Age of Ultron
  • 3. It Follows
  • 2. Into the Woods
  • 1. Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death

Friday, October 30, 2015

parking turtle

In the interest of Google indexing, I leave the following JPEG for everyone's amusement and use.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

unfortunate children's book titles

By popular demand, I give you The List.  I have shelved each and every one of these books at one time or another during my career.  What you are about to read is not a lie.  Check Amazon, I dare you.  

The Love Affair of Mr. Ding and Mrs. Dong
One Tricky Monkey Up On Top 
Licks of Love  
Six Is So Much Less Than Seven 
Little Lee Lee’s Birthday Bang
Charlene Likes To Make Noise
Something Is Growing
It Looked Like Spilled Milk
The Missing Piece Meets the Big O
Hop On Pop
What Do You Do With A Tail Like This?  
Ernest and the Big Itch  
Let’s Do That Again! 
The Feel Good Book 
Going Solo
The Great Snake Escape
Show & Tell Bunnies 
Rain Romp    
Ten In A Bed  
Don’t Pop Your Cork On Mondays
Lunchtime For Purple Snake 
Just Too Little
Naughty Nautical Neighbors 
Just Enough Is Plenty 
Six Is So Much Less Than Seven
Captain Underpants and the Attack Of the Naughty Lunchroom Ladies
Meet My Staff                                                     
How To Do Three Bears With Two Hands
Samantha’s Special Talent
Pants Off First!
How Did You Grow So Big, So Soon?
Tom Swift and His Big Dirigible
Upchuck and the Rotten Willy
Something Big Has Been Here
Magical Melons
What Aunts Do Best
A Squash and a Squeeze
The Very Noisy Night
The Best Toy of All
Have You Got My Purr?
There's a Wocket in my Pocket
Oliver's Milkshake
Two Girls Can!
The Shape of Me and Other Stuff
Inch by Inch
Can You Make a Piggy Giggle?
The Hungry Thing Returns
The Chick on the Thick Brick
Are You Ready to Play Outside?
Anna Shares
The Hole in the Dike
Ding Dong! Gorilla!
I See Kitty
Eat Up, Little Donkey
Runny Honey
Mr. Putter and Tabby Pick the Pears
Did I Hear a Hello From Above or Below?
Crunch Munch
Just Big Enough
I'm Too Fond of My Fur
Willie's Adventures
Your Daddy Was Just Like You
Too Noisy!
You Are (Not) Small
Play With Me
Tools Rule!
On My Way To Bed
The Incredible Shrinking Superhero
Noisy Nora
Miss Maple's Seeds
A Big Guy Took My Ball!
More More More, Said the Baby
Rise of the Snakes
Guess Who Bites
Beware the Lizard

Thursday, February 12, 2015

true story

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

2014 stuff and thangs

I just said to a coworker, this is why I keep up with things.  I've felt this whole year like I haven't lost any real weight because it just looked like the scale wasn't moving.  But looka there!  30 pounds.  Not too shabby!  Only 30 more to go, then I'll have to sell an ovary or a kidney or something to get a tummy tuck.  I've secretly considered starting a GoFundMe or Kickstarter, but there are people with cancer out there trying to get chemo and I don't want to steal their thunder.  On the other hand, there are lazy people getting out of credit card debt too, so it bears thinking about nonetheless.  Anyway, I'm patting myself on the back and looking forward to reaching my weightloss goals this year.  VSG was one of the best decisions I've ever made for myself!
January 6 - 238.2
February 3 - forgot
March 3 - 242.2
April 7 - 241.4
May 5 - 237.4
June 2 - 235.9
July 7 - 225.4
August 4 - 221.2
September 1 - Away From Home
October 6 - 213.0
November 3 - 209.8

December 1 - 209.6

Books of 2014

  • 102. Cold Pursuit by Toni Anderson
  • 101. The Bottom Line by Sandy James
  • 100. Sprinkles on Top by Kim Law
  • 99. The Martian by Andy Weir
  • 98. Lucifer's Rogue by Colleen Gleason
  • 97. The Maverick's Red Hot Reunion by Christine Glover
  • 96. Sweet Southern Betrayal by Robin Covington
  • 95. The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi
  • 94. The Walking Dead: Book 9 by Robert Kirkman et al
  • 93. The Walking Dead: Book 8 by Robert Kirkman et al
  • 92. The Taking by Dean Koontz
  • 91. Bound by Night by Larissa Ione
  • 90. Heroes Are My Weakness by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
  • 89. Irresistible Force by D.D. Ayres
  • 88. Carrie by Stephen King
  • 87. The Walking Dead: Book 7 by Robert Kirkman et al
  • 86. Saga: Volume 3 by Brian Vaughan and Fiona Staples
  • 85. Saga: Volume 2 by Brian Vaughan and Fiona Staples
  • 84. Gentlemen Bootleggers by Bryce T. Bauer
  • 83. Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy
  • 82. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving
  • 81. This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage by Ann Patchett
  • 80. Saga: Volume 1 by Brian Vaughan and Fiona Staples
  • 79. The Walking Dead: Book 6 by Robert Kirkman et al
  • 78. The Walking Dead: Book 5 by Robert Kirkman et al
  • 77. Working in the Shadows by Gabriel Thompson
  • 76. The Quick by Lauren Owen
  • 75. Acceptance by Jeff Vandermeer
  • 74. The Husband's Secret by Laura Moriarty
  • 73. The Magicians by Lev Grossman
  • 72. Nothing...Except My Genius by Oscar Wilde
  • 71. Serpent of Venice by Christopher Moore
  • 70. Close Your Eyes, Hold Hands by Chris Bohjalian
  • 69. The Girl in the Road by Monica Byrne
  • 68. Orphan Train by Christina Kline
  • 67. House of Small Shadows by Adam Nevill
  • 66. Through the Woods by Emily Carroll
  • 65. The Walking Dead: Book 4 by Robert Kirkman et al
  • 64. I Have a Bad Feeling About This by Jeff Strand
  • 63. Authority by Jeff Vandermeer
  • 62. The Walking Dead: Book 3 by Robert Kirkman et al
  • 61. Carsick: John Waters Hitchhikes Across America by John Waters
  • 60. The Walking Dead: Book 2 by Robert Kirkman et al
  • 59. Seven Years to Sin by Sylvia Day
  • 58. The Marriage Act by Liza Monroy
  • 57. Surprise Offense by Carole Halston
  • 56. Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor
  • 55. Where'd You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple
  • 54. Dragon's Egg by Robert Forward
  • 53. His Wicked Games by Ember Casey
  • 52. Cree by H.J. Bellus
  • 51. The Aviator's Wife by Melanie Benjamin
  • 50. Rule Breaker by Lora Leigh
  • 49. Rules of Summer by Shaun Tan
  • 48. Little Blog on the Prairie by Cathleen Davitt Bell
  • 47. Hope Ignites by Jaci Burton
  • 46. The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson
  • 45. It Had To Be You by Jill Shalvis
  • 44. The Mane Event by Shelly Laurenston
  • 43. Annihilation by Jeff Vandermeer
  • 42. The Walking Dead: Book 1 by Robert Kirkman et al
  • 41. The Word Made Flesh: Literary Tattoos from Bookworms Worldwide by Eva Talmadge & Justin Taylor
  • 40. Night Film by Maria Pessl
  • 39. The Last of Us: American Dreams Volume 1 by Neil Druckmann, et al
  • 38. Hope Flames by Jaci Burton
  • 37. Fangoria presents Dreadtime Stories: Volume 1
  • 36. Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris
  • 35. Four Weddings and a Fireman by Jennifer Bernard
  • 34. Mr. Rosenblum Dreams in English by Natasha Solomons
  • 33. Allegiant by Veronica Roth
  • 32. D'Aulaires' Book of Greek Myths by Edgar and Ingri D'Aulaire
  • 31. Drive by Daniel H. Pink
  • 30. House of the Stag by Kage Baker
  • 29. Insurgent by Veronica Roth
  • 28. Desperately Seeking Fireman by Jennifer Bernard
  • 27. Divergent by Veronica Roth
  • 26. Orphanage by Robert Buettner
  • 25. To All a Very Sexy Good Night by K.A. Mitchell and Josh Lanyon
  • 24. Breaking Point by Pamela Clare
  • 23. Snowbound with Dr. Delectable by Susan Carlisle
  • 22. Just for the Summer by Jenna Rutland
  • 21. Code of Honor by Radclyffe
  • 20. Temptation by Kathryn Barrett
  • 19. Hot Buttered Yum by Kim Law
  • 18. Hip Check by Deirdre Martin
  • 17. Breakaway by Deirdre Martin
  • 16. The Life List by Lori Nelson Spielman
  • 15. Take Over at Midnight by M.L. Buchman
  • 14. Captain Blood by Michael Blodgett
  • 13. All I'm Asking For by Brighton Walsh, Christi Barth, and Kat Latham
  • 12. Something Like Summer by Jay Bell
  • 11. Goin' Someplace Special by Patricia McKissack and Jerry Pinkney
  • 10. The Silence of Our Friends by Mark Long, Jim Demonakos, and Nate Powell
  • 9. Knowing the Score by Kat Latham
  • 8. Hard As It Gets by Laura Kaye
  • 7. Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
  • 6. Holiday Games by Jaci Burton
  • 5. Hold On My Heart by Tracy Brogan
  • 4. The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place: The Interrupted Tale by Maryrose Wood
  • 3. Born Wild by Julie Ann Walker
  • 2. Icebreaker by Deirdre Martin
  • 1. Power Play by Deirdre Martin

At the Movies 2014

  • 16. The Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies
  • 15. Rifftrax: Santa Claus
  • 14. Rifftrax: Anaconda
  • 13. Annabelle
  • 12. As Above, So Below
  • 11. Guardians of the Galaxy
  • 10. Maleficent
  • 9. Neighbors
  • 8. Godzilla
  • 7. Oculus
  • 6. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2)
  • 5. The Single Mom's Club
  • 4. 300: Rise of an Empire (2)
  • 3. Winter's Tale
  • 2. Robocop
  • 1. Ride Along

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Southern Reach

Look at those beautiful covers!  Be amazed with me!  But it doesn't have to end with the visuals...  If you want to be REALLY amazed, read this trilogy.  It is hard to explain in the most glorious way that I, as an avid reader and librarian, can express to you in typed words.  My most on target praise?  My brain feels bigger, like maybe my gyri and sulci (don't be impressed, I looked it up) are even more ridged and folded.  Perhaps the influence of Area X?  Is this my brightness talking?

Anyway, the Southern Reach trilogy!  We enter the story with the 12th expedition into Area X, a mysterious area cordoned off by unknown means (a la Under the Dome) from the rest of the country for decades.  The first expedition reported an Eden-like paradise reclaimed by nature.  Every expedition after that suffered a horrific fate: suicide, mass slaughter, lethargy, cancer etc.  The 12th expedition is made up of the Psychologist (the group leader), the Biologist (our narrator), the Surveyor, and the Anthropologist.  When you sign up for an expedition, you lose your name and become your job.

Area X's pristine natural condition is immediately creepy and only becomes more so as you get additional background details from the Biologist.  By the time you come to the "topographic anomaly," shit is getting real.  Strange creatures mixed in with the mundane, hypnosis, conspiracy, unknown and unseen forces, mania, insanity, weird unfocused biblical fervor...all the good stuff.

I've read descriptions like "if J.J. Abrams, Margaret Atwood, and Alan Weisman collaborated on a novel, this would be it" and Lauren Beukes described it as "a little Kubrick, a lot Lovecraft," but I would also have to throw in some Jack Finney, the 2009 movie Moon starring Sam Rockwell, maybe something like The Mist, The Shining, The Thing (menacing things, real and imagined, at a distance and then devastatingly close).

I certainly do understand that I'm rambling not a little bit, but this trilogy is so hard to pin down.  It's dark, meandering, philosophical, haunting, ecological, horrific, conspiring, and so many of my other favorite adjectives.  There are no easy answers, not even really any answers in the traditional sense of the word.  If you like an A+B=C story, you *might* have trouble here.  If your idea of a great story is one that is so complex and nuanced (if you enjoyed playing Myst!) that it almost gives you a headache, then we need to be friends.  True story.

Anyway, congratulations to you Mr. Vandermeer!  You have created a stunning world that I would gladly vacation long as I could avoid the Biologist.  And Grace.

To bastardize a movie and sum up my feelings:

Ghosts (maybe) and aliens (maybe) and monsters (definitely), oh my!

Jeff Vandermeer




If you are in the Birmingham, Alabama area, Church Street Coffee & Books stocks them!  That's where I bought mine!

Thursday, July 3, 2014

the horror of it all

Most of my friends know I'm a fan of horror movies, books, and nearly anything else I can get my grubby little hands on.  This morning Fangoria posted on Twitter asking what your favorite NYC-set horror movie was.  I had to look up a list (shame face) and from that list I selected Rosemary's Baby, Ghostbusters, and Cloverfield.

Then I started thinking about great 1980's horror, funny and otherwise.  Ghostbusters is funny, of course, but now I'm watching High Spirits (starring Peter O'Toole, Steve Guttenberg, Bevery D'Angelo, Jennifer Tilly, Peter Gallagher, Daryl Hannah, Liam Neeson, et al) and I love it almost as much. Most people have never heard of it when I ask and that is a crying shame.  Another one on the comedic side was Beetlejuice.  I miss Michael Keaton in good roles. More of the funny, gross favorites include The Evil Dead and Army of Darkness, Gremlins, Critters, Night of the Comet, Night of the Creeps, and A Nightmare on Elm Street (am I the only one who thought Freddy was *such* a comedian?).

My scary favorites include The Changeling (starring George C. Scott).  Watch it too early in life and you'll have a lifelong fear of wheelchairs.  Along those same lines is the original BBC version of The Woman in Black. Rocking chairs may no longer be comfortable for you after this. Poltergeist was discomfort-making but not exactly scary.  Definitely creepy.  (I will whisper a secret:  I've not watched Amityville Horror (1979) yet.  Don't tell anyone. I did watch an excellent documentary about it called My Amityville Horror.  HIGHLY RECOMMENDED)  This may also be a dissenting opinion, but Friday the 13th got much scarier once Jason somehow grew up and donned the hockey mask.

I loved me some Child's Play back in the day.  This also caused me to avoid my friends' Teddy Ruxpin obsessions like the plague. I can neither confirm nor deny that I made them put such toys away when I spent the night at their houses.   In the spirit of sharing, enjoy this:

Fun, but not particularly scary: It's hard to believe that Aliens is an 80's flick.  That movie has aged SO well. No list would be complete without The Shining though I found the book much much scarier than the film. The original Fright Night wanted to be scary and kinda failed but still did a better job than the remake though Colin Farrell definitely hit my radar as seductive vampire more effectively than Chris Sarandon.

And speaking of hot vampires, Kiefer Sutherland's David in The Lost Boys was responsible for both my very first crush and my very first naughty dreams at the tender age of 10!  It was love at first bite.  I'll let you work out the morality and ethics of that.  I'm a mostly well-adjusted usually law-abiding citizen now so no harm, no foul.

There's no telling what I've forgotten and/or left out.  These are just what popped in to my head.  If you stumble upon this and have any input, comment and share it!

Saturday, June 21, 2014

the trying-to-be incredible shrinking woman

I'm working really, REALLY hard on the new me, which also entails trying to reach into my own gray matter for what ails me.  As anyone who has read my once yearly update (shameful!) here knows, I had a vertical sleeve gastrectomy (VSG) September 7, 2012.  Here's what that looks like:
Late 2011 through May 2012, I was dealing with some hellascious knee problems that resulted in me, at the ripe old age of 35, using a walker to get around because my knees would not support me.  Here I am in May 2012, 5 days out from having my right knee scoped (5 days before THAT, my doctor took 29cc of fluid off my knee so I would quit contemplating blowing my own brains out):

So, about 3.5 months after this photo was taken, I went under the knife again, driven finally by desperation and pain, the desperate measures so often found at the end of desperate times.  I lost 100 lbs in about 10 months and have lost another 20 in the time since then.  What I didn't know until just here recently, when I joined a VSG support group on Facebook, is that there is a "honeymoon" period that lasts anywhere from 8-12 months after surgery and that is when you will get the majority of your weightloss accomplished.  After that, your appetite, hormones, and body catch up to you and you feel relatively normal again. 

I pissed that away.  I made no attempt to exercise (like I was told to by my surgeon, my nurse, my nutritionist, Marvin the Martian, my cat, my brain, and everyone else on the planet who knew more than I did),  I was weak and got tired easily because I could only eat about 1/2 cup of food at a time, didn't deal extremely well with the cold in my newly (somewhat) de-blubberized body, and just generally felt like I was losing weight so quickly that it couldn't possibly matter that I wasn't exercising.  And my knees.  Oh yes, my beautiful, didn't-know-they-were-even-there-anymore, painfree knees!  I was pain-free for the first time in several years and it was like a narcotic, that absence of pain.  Here I am this past March, at the Public Library Association conference in Indianapolis:

I always take the stairs when they are available. I can run up the stairs from the basement to the 2nd floor at work and barely even breathe hard.  I can walk anywhere I want to go.  I'm developing biceps for the first time in recent memory.  I have collar bones!
I weigh myself every Monday morning and record that weight here and on  At my 1 year surgersary I noticed I hadn't really lost any weight, looking back over my entries.  I'd steadily been buying smaller clothes, month after month, so the numbers just didn't really set in until I was consolidating my Weight Loss Journey sidebar section here on Blogger for 2013 from every week down to one entry per month, getting ready for 2014.  It was an eye opener.  All that to reiterate, I pissed away my honeymoon period. I've been stuck in the mid 200's for over a year now and there's no one to blame but myself.  

But as I began with, for about the past (almost) 2 months I've been exercising 45-90 minutes per day, different exercises everyday and doing pilates (or as I like to call it, rolling around on the floor and grunting) my rest days or when my knees just don't feel up to doing anything.  I threw/gave away all the non-complex carbohydrates in my house.  If I want to snack, it has to be something I make.  Very little processed foods.  In my fridge right now are protein shakes, eggs, and fresh fruit and veggies.  The freezer has fish, chicken, soy products, veggies, fruit, and ( not sorry) vodka.  I do make popcorn for snacks but it's the plain kernels, with a teeny bit of coconut oil, thrown in a brown paper sack, and microwaved, sprinkled with a little bit of salt, not Orville's sodiumfest.  

I've lost about 7 pounds in that time, but my measurements haven't changed all that much.  I'm going to be patient though, because I know how my body has always been.  Pre-surgery, it usually took 8-10 weeks of supreme effort before I saw any real results, so now that I'm back to pre-surgery hormones and whathaveyou, I anticipate it will be the same.  I'm eating between 80-100 grams of protein and 800-1100 calories per day and burning (according to an app, soooo grain of salt and all) 3800-4100 calories per day, so those numbers are fine.  I'm not starving myself, just eating high protein, low calorie meals, so no one (as if anyone is reading) panic.

Okay, I've said it and said it and said it and said it, but this time, I MEAN it.  I'm going to start writing here again.  Pre-Facebook, I used to love it and tried to sneak it into my day whenever possible.  I miss that.  A lot.  And it was good for me to get all the daily effluvia out of my head and give it you (possibly nonexistent) guys. I need it and it's good for me so as I've rededicated myself to my weightloss journey, I'm rededicating myself to Blogger.  As if that isn't enough, I also recently joined Twitter because, you know, I'm impulsive like that.  And I'm SO addicted to it so feel free to find me there @HolleysHouse. 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

lemme tell you some sad stories

Well, sad to me, at any rate.  It should be sad to the world, like other sad things, but really it's a symptom of many wrong things.

1) A young man (junior high or high school, I am now decrepit enough that it is becoming hard to tell) came up to the desk and said he was writing a paper on Mary Shelley and had to have an autobiography.  I told him that outside of a book of her collected letters, I didn't think she'd written one.  He looked sheepish and said something along the lines of well, I just need information about her.  After a quick clarification of whether he did, indeed, need biographical info or criticism of her work, we set off for the biography section.  No luck, so I took him over to the literary criticism section.  There were several about Frankenstein, of course, but there were also 2 very cool looking books about Shelley and her life in relation to Frankenstein.  I handed him one, took the other for myself, and instructed him to check the index for information specifically about Shelley.  He turned to the table of contents, flipped a couple of pages, then declared it, this book about Mary Shelley, contained "nothing" about Shelley. I looked at mine, showed him all the entries just about her, then he flipped to the back of his book and hemmed and hawed a little more.  I took his book from him, turned to the index entry (which took up nearly an entire page on its own, beautifully indexed under her name by topic even), and showed it to him.  He decided to take that book.  I am continually AmAzEd by the people, teen and adult, who don't know how to use an index.  Or a dictionary for that matter.  Hell, most of these kids can't even use the copy machine because they are used to just clicking an icon for the printer.  We had one middle school aged kid trying to use the phone at the front desk.  She picked up the receiver and put it down several times, never dialing.  Finally, when asked what was wrong, she said it was making a funny noise.  That's not a funny noise, sweetie, that's the dial tone.

2)  Let's have a lesson in the use of an automatic flushing toilet.  You sit down, or you hover.  You do your business and tidy up.  You get up, refasten your clothing, CHECK TO SEE THAT THE TOILET FLUSHED COMPLETELY, FLUSH THE FUCKING TOILET IF NOT, then depart to continue your day.  I have to be here 9 or 10 hours a day and do not appreciate having to wipe up and flush your piss and, thank god only occasionally, your shit.  Every automatic toilet has a manual flush button.  Shocker, I know.  Look for it.  Use it.  I mean, I get it.  There's one toilet in our bathroom that flushes if you bat your eyelashes too hard.  It's out of sync with stall use.  I understand.  But still, look back over your shoulder, notice if you've pissed all over the toilet seat.  Wipe it up.  Did everything go down?  If not, use the button please and make my working life just a tiny bit better.