Thursday, April 16, 2015

unfortunate children's book titles

By popular demand, I give you The List.  I have shelved each and every one of these books at one time or another during my career.  What you are about to read is not a lie.  Check Amazon, I dare you.  

The Love Affair of Mr. Ding and Mrs. Dong
One Tricky Monkey Up On Top 
Licks of Love  
Six Is So Much Less Than Seven 
Little Lee Lee’s Birthday Bang
Charlene Likes To Make Noise
Something Is Growing
It Looked Like Spilled Milk
The Missing Piece Meets the Big O
Hop On Pop
What Do You Do With A Tail Like This?  
Ernest and the Big Itch  
Let’s Do That Again! 
The Feel Good Book 
Going Solo
The Great Snake Escape
Show & Tell Bunnies 
Rain Romp    
Ten In A Bed  
Don’t Pop Your Cork On Mondays
Lunchtime For Purple Snake 
Just Too Little
Naughty Nautical Neighbors 
Just Enough Is Plenty 
Six Is So Much Less Than Seven
Captain Underpants and the Attack Of the Naughty Lunchroom Ladies
Meet My Staff                                                     
How To Do Three Bears With Two Hands
Samantha’s Special Talent
Pants Off First!
How Did You Grow So Big, So Soon?
Tom Swift and His Big Dirigible
Upchuck and the Rotten Willy
Something Big Has Been Here
Magical Melons
What Aunts Do Best
A Squash and a Squeeze
The Very Noisy Night
The Best Toy of All
Have You Got My Purr?
There's a Wocket in my Pocket
Oliver's Milkshake
Two Girls Can!
The Shape of Me and Other Stuff
Inch by Inch
Can You Make a Piggy Giggle?
The Hungry Thing Returns
The Chick on the Thick Brick
Are You Ready to Play Outside?
Anna Shares
The Hole in the Dike
Ding Dong! Gorilla!
I See Kitty
Eat Up, Little Donkey
Runny Honey
Mr. Putter and Tabby Pick the Pears
Did I Hear a Hello From Above or Below?
Crunch Munch
Just Big Enough
I'm Too Fond of My Fur
Willie's Adventures
Your Daddy Was Just Like You
Too Noisy!
You Are (Not) Small
Play With Me
Tools Rule!
On My Way To Bed
The Incredible Shrinking Superhero
Noisy Nora
Miss Maple's Seeds
A Big Guy Took My Ball!
More More More, Said the Baby
Rise of the Snakes
Guess Who Bites
Beware the Lizard

1 comment:

Dr. kold_kadavr_flatliner, MD, the sub/dude said...

High, girl!
Wouldn’t ya love an endless eternity of aplomBombs
falling on thy indelible, magnificent, vigilant cranium?
An XtraXcitinXpose with no
zooillogical-expiration-date,
with an IQ much higher than K2,
and an extraordinarily, sawcy, rowdy victory??
Here’s what the prolific GODy sed:
(what could be MOE exciting than the 3-Stooges??)

“Faith, hope, and love,
the greatest of these is love -
jumpy into faith...
and you'll see with love”
Doesn’t matter if you don’t believe
(what I write);
God believes in you.
God. Blessa. Youse -Fr. Sarducci, ol SNL
Meet me Upstairs, girl, where the Son never goes down…