Let me start off by saying that today is the day of the stupid f*%k
I hope your day is as ridiculously special as mine is currently. Not everyone falls under the heading of stupid f*%k, but many (many, many, many, many, many) do.
CASE IN POINT!
Patron walks up to the massive desk behind which I sit wearing my name tag that says "Holley, Reference Librarian"
Patron: Is there a big desk up here where a librarian sits?
Me:.....*blink* (then I do a Vanna White-esque presentation gesture at the desk and myself and manage a strangled, "How may I help you?)
The patron hands me a Florida driver's license (we are in the state of Alabama).
Patron: The lady downstairs told me you could give me a temporary library card....(which we don't do, never have, never will)
Me: Do you just need to use a computer? If you want to use the computers I can log you on but we don't give out temporary cards.