Yes, that's right friends...I appeared onstage downstairs in the meeting room as a suspect in a mystery ! ! ! It was the Crime Caper, a gerbil was missing, a bookplate was stolen, library employees were being questioned as persons of interest, and there were maybe 60 detectives to our 6 suspects, one of which was the gerbil Macie. I never quite figured out exactly what a gerbil would do with a bookplate were he/she to get his/her little paws on it, but that's what the detectives were for.
I had the challenging part of Hans Barth: loyal janitor/handyman of the fullington county public library, uncle to Danny Barth, and suspect in the theft of a bookplate designed by children's author Mark Teague. Last time I had a part they made me a knitter AND left out part of my script so the kids were asking me questions and I was giving answers contrary to what I should have. At one point Kat and I were yelling at each other, "I gave you back that shawl!" and "I didn't get any shawls from you, dirty liar." "You stole the gold! I know it!" I'm sure it was more entertaining for the kids that way anyway :)
This time I was ready with my A-game! I had my greasy Red Line Oil Racing hat, my yardwork gloves, a tool belt with a hammer and wrench, a coiled extension cord over my shoulder and a scowl. Also, every construction worker's friend, a remote control fart noise maker. I'm that into playing my part, people! All the kids were gathered around the tables, intently searching for and recording each piece of evidence and I would ease up close behind them and press the remote then jump back and say, "oh my god!" pointing all the while. It was pretty funny for the guys, the girls were just confused. It was a humbling moment for me as I come from a scatological family where that would have been hilarious, but it tanked at the mystery. Either they weren't old enough for it to be funny, or no one farts around here. All the staff thought it was pretty funny at least. I'm going to see how I can sneak the remote into the next staff meeting we have. I think it would be very apropos for a loud fart to echo into a cone of silence at the boardroom table, what do you think?
htw
*pfffffft* see, that's funny!
3 comments:
Oh I would definitely say you had your A game with you today. I was impressed!
k
Do it.
Farts are always funny--no matter what the prissy people say!
i found your entire character aura, farts included, to be particularly effective :) and i was just grateful you didn't mind helping us out!
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