I had two especially wacko patron encounters last week and wouldn't you just know it, I wrote a few words down for each very optimistically hoping I'd remember what happened....it pays to infrequently be an optimist :(
But I'm going to try anyway....that these two events happened back to back makes it even harder to keep them straight and true in my mind, I just snicker too hard.
As I've mentioned before, I teach computer classes for learning internet/email basics for senior citizens at the library where I work. Sometimes other people do the booking of the classes, it just depends on whose shift at the desk it is when people call in. Well, for this doozy it was mine.
Patron-I've heard that you have computer classes there, is that true?
Me-Yes ma'am, we certainly do. Are you interested in learning how to get on the internet and email?
Patron-No, I don't want to get on the internet, I just want to do my hobby. I do contests. Couldn't I just peek in when the next one starts and you show me how to do my contests?
Me-Well, the class teaches you the basics you need to get on the internet and surf around as well as using an email account. That would cover your contests, I believe.
Patron-I don't want all of that! I can't do it! Now listen, I only have a middle school education! I dropped out to get married and now you want me to do all this stuff?! I've never even sat down at a computer before! I just want to do my contests. Did you know that the M&M's are giving away MILLIONS of dollars, but you have to use a computer to even see the rules. I remember when you could just fill out a 3x5 card.....
Me-I really believe this class would be beneficial for you! We go over the parts of the computer, the keys on the keyboard and how to use a mouse. It's a great beginner class. We'll be meeting each Thurs in Oct from 10-11am and the class is $30.
Patron-Well I don't want to do all that! I do not want to get on the internet, I just want to do my contests! All that other stuff? Couldn't I just get my grandkids to come over and show me that stuff and not pay you anything?
Me-(WHAT I SHOULD HAVE SAID) You certainly could, but I can't tell you how many of my students have tried that route and not had success. Younger family members don't often understand how to teach this at a beginner level because....
(WHAT CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH) You know what? You are completely correct and I'm terribly sorry for wasting so much of your time. I don't think we have what you need here (thorazine, demerol, prozac?) and again I'm sorry for the inconvenience.
Patron-*very pleased sounding*Of course not, don't worry! Thank you for taking the time to talk with me!
Now, am I being paranoid or what she not curaaaaazy!? I am usually the last one to abandon ship when attempting to help someone but I just got tired of banging my head against the wall trying to get her to understand that her FREAKIN' CONTESTS were ON the internet! Ah well, I'm glad I don't have to teach her and she's glad to have forced me into submission to her superior point so I guess it was a win-win.....
TO BE CONTINUED......