Thursday, October 4, 2007

the week in review 2 of 2

so while I and crazy contest lady are dukin' it out on the phone, one of my past students is on her everlasting quest for every book every put out by the Top Secret Recipe people. She was in my comp class several years ago and that's what she wanted to learn for at the time, so she could keep on the cutting edge of those super sluethy secret recipes! KT was helping her and I could tell Mrs. Top Secret was trying to stall until I got off the phone.

I finally finished with crazy contest lady and quick as a bunny, Mrs. TS was there. We exchanged the requisite hey-howya-doin's and whatuv-you-been-up-to's and I got to hear all about her domineering husband who won't let her watch the station she likes, listen to the musics she wants to, and is thwarting her efforts to clean the house out so their kids won't have so much to do when they die. Now, as a general rule I have never historically had a problem discussing death with patrons old, young or anywhere in between, but she was seriously creeping me out.

Aaaaaand it got worse. We were winding up the conversation and I simply said to have a gr8 day and stay out of trouble. She glanced back at me with be best coquettish look I've seen on an octogenarian, EVER, and said, "but I'm so innocent, I've never been in trouble!" I politely laughed as the situation seemed to call for it and she took that as her invite to come on back for more conversation. Somehow she told me that her husband had purchased her off the slave block in Jamaica after the war. She sounded like she'd been in the South all her life, what was I to say? She looked dead serious. Her point, as she gleefully pointed out, was that she'd married YOUNG and never been anything but a housewife. At this point, and I could now feel reality slipping through my fingers like the finest sand, she leaned in conspiratorially and said, "I had a man friend, apart from my husband, as just a friend you know....(as an aside with eyes cast upward) oh dear, he's been dead some time now....and when the whole Clinton/Lewinsky thing was going on he was the only one I could as what a b _ _ _ j _ _ was...and he told me!" Gleeful old thing the whole time.

Now, when I woke up on that particular fine morning I had no idea I'd be employment.....with a lady old enough to be my great grandmother....or that SHE'D be the one to bring it up. AND she really looked as if she'd like to pursue the matter further but THANK GOD ABOVE my phone rang!!!! I gave her my best imitation of an apologetic smile and devoted my entire being, my entire philosophy of customer service, into that one phone call. I hope it was the most helpful one they'd ever had.

oh dear....I'm so glad that week is over. I'll be haunted by the mental image of Mrs. TS and her "man friend" forevermore.....



Jeff Stankard, Group Publisher said...


Holley T said...

oh yeah, a big helping of OMG with a serious side order of WTF!