*&(^$#%@&%^$&*^%$*&$^#&^#%^$&^

I need off this desk before I F-ing implode.

speechless with laughter

other than that, I don't know what to say.....

The Worst Album Covers Ever

*snicker*

www.buildyourwildself.com

A.Word.A.Day...just for me :-D

Nerd that I am, I subscribe to both the Merriam-Webster Word of the Day and another service simply called A.Word.A.Day. Here is today's selection from AWAD:

lexiphanes (lex-SIF-uh-neez) noun
One who uses words pretentiously.

I like it. I like it so much that I'm going to incorporate it into my working vocabulary...just call me Lexi
:)

what is it with the monkeys?

I had to dig way back, but I found another post I'd done back in August about aggressive monkeys (if you click through, you're honor bound to read the entire post! I rambled before getting to the monkeys). So now I get this one today on what to do if you are attacked by monkeys...I honestly didn't realize it was that big a problem, but then again I don't live in New Delhi either. Apparently you should give them whatever food you have or, if you don't have any food, back away slowly with empty palms facing toward the perpetrator...NO EYE CONTACT OR SHOWING YOUR TEETH OR YOU'RE DEAD, much like the deputy mayor of New Delhi, India who fell to his death from a balcony while being attacked by macaques. Oh, did I mention the fatal case of herpes B that could be awaiting you if you are attacked. Primatologists also recommend this in emergencies:

Primatologists will sometimes send a macaque warning signal called the open-mouth threat. Basically, form an "O" with your mouth, lean toward them with your body and head, and raise your eyebrows.

Now, I'd love to visit that part of the world. I've always been fascinated with places like India, Thailand, Cambodia, Taiwan, Vietnam...the far East...but it is beginning to make the list with Australia and the ocean in general (swimming in it at any rate): Places I Will Probably Never Go Because There's Too Much Wildlife. In Australia everything is poisonous and you'll be attacked by monkeys in India...go figure.

that is all.
htw

NOOS movie marathon

my Nightmare on Oak Street movie marathon was a Weekly Pick over at Birmingham Weekly!

yay!

looking back....

to my "you'll never want to date again" post....

I found an update(via In Cold Blog) to the psycho cannibal boyfriend story. This should add a couple of logs to anyone's dampening "capital punishment" fires.

prepare to be unproductive and fight world hunger

My new fav (via Bookshelves of Doom):

FREE RICE

Increase your vocab and feed people....it's a win-win!

Njoy

htw

deep thoughts for a monday

our department got a request from the dept boss, you know her as my friend KT! Here is the request:

I have been asked to speak at ------- University's English Major Forum about my life as a SuPrEmE BeInG (I mean librarian). Anyway, what aspects of English Major-ing do you see in your role as a librarian? Obviously the reading part, but we do a lot of communicating and writing too, wouldn't you say? Do you have any thoughts you would want to share with fellow English Majors about librarianship?

Now, I've been perking this for a few days trying desperately to figure out why I believe my English major has uniquely equipped me for librarianship...or did it? Was there something essential already present that this particular avenue of education merely strengthened? How would I really know for sure without a Delorean and a flex capacitor?

Anyway, here's the answer I sent back to KT:

-community outreach, like this venue for instance :), requires excellent communications skills not only to impart information, but also to make that information interesting, dare I say entertaining.
-my English major comes from a heavy duty liberal arts college so the range of literature I was
exposed to has come in handy many times...whether the patron is looking for Marie de France or Zora Neale Hurston, I can usually relate with them on any literary level.
-I believe that the English major curriculum gives a student the opportunity to become an acute observer of the human condition. So many of the assignments I remember required virtually an engineer's or a scientist's skills at breaking down elements into their most common
denominators. Iambic pentameter, the hero archetype, new historicist critical theory....the ability to use literary elements like these as a microscope with which to examine and "learn" people. This education leaves many students ideally suited for a life of ferreting out "just" what it is that people want since it certainly isn't what often first emerges from their mouth :)

Is this too esoteric? Too weird to use? I find it somewhat difficult to verbalize what I think concerning this question.

What do you guys think? I would like your opinion even from the non-librarians and non-English majors among you :) If you have a degree that may be ideally suited to, or at some sort of odds with, your current occupation, how does your chosen avenue of education contribute/not contribute to your job?

htw

a case of the mondays

I did get up early again today for another 30 min spin on the recumbent bike, the only difference from Fri being my movie selection, Monster House. I just love this little animated flick and you should to, especially with the big day coming up next week.

I got all the new photos on my camera loaded to a CD and cleared the camera's memory card as Katie said I could not continue to hoard 500 photos at all times and continuously have to transfer the whole lot each time I wanted the last few. It hurt my feelings but I got it done quick...like ripping off a bandaid. All of this to say that there'll be photos up soon from my mom's and my trip to the Anniston Museum of Natural History to see Sue the T. rex.

htw

last minute friday stuff

• Yay for me! I did get up early this morning and ride for 30 minutes on the recumbent bike (and watched Poseiden at the same time).
• I got the ref desk Halloween decorations up
• getting geared up for the Nightmare on Oak Street Horror Movie Marathon next week!
• got paid for my last petsitting gig
• getting paid tomorrow as I have my next gig as Mrs. D's personal reader :)
• helping my friend P movie offices tomorrow!

catch you on the flip side!

I just love Cinematical more and more

I pass on to you, the Cinematical Seven: Horror Movie Gimmicks that Always Work...Hawthorne style! The Cinematical author (Richard von Busack) included illustrative Nathaniel Hawthorne quotes which I will put here also. I'm trying not to plagiarize anyone here! Everyone must become an avid reader of Cinematical (like I am!) after reading this post! You will self-destruct otherwise!

For instant gratification....for in depth discussion, click through:

1. Compulsion through prophecy; death or misery foretold
"Why were you threatening me this morning?" Omar says. Death replies, "I wasn't threatening you. I was just surprised to see you in the marketplace so far from here, when we had an appointment in Samarra today."

2. Misbehaving pictures and photographs
Hawthorne's "The Prophetic Picture" is a forbear of Wilde's novel, in which a wedding portrait manifests clues of a murder to come in years afterwards.

3. Children
no quote/annocdote mentioned

4. Abandonment
"The sunbeam that comes through a round hole in the shutter of a darkened room, where a dead man sits in solitude."

5. What's behind the door?
"In an old house, a mysterious knocking might be heard on the wall, where had formerly been a doorway, now bricked up."

6. The knife
I'm paraphrasing (General Patton), but it was something to the extent that "nothing really puts the fear in a man like the thought that his guts will be explored by cold steel." This quote is not by Hawthorne, but good nonetheless.

7. Madness
The best ending of any terror tale, and that's because the story doesn't really end. It loops back, guaranteed to echo in the hero until death. (von Busack's words, not Hawthorne's but again, good stuff)

I believe that to be a spot-on list. Can anyone else think of any more?

lovecraft and del toro

oh, it's on! My fav director, Guillermo Del Toro, has a big project in the works(via Cinematical)....H.P. Lovecraft's At the Mountians of Madness! He's supposed to start work on it after Hellboy 2 consequently bumping another project, 3993, out of the way in favor of the Lovecraft flick.

From Cinematical:

For those not up in the world of Lovecraft, Madness is a novella about an Antarctic expedition made by scholars from Miskatonic University. They discover strange, ancient life forms that are unknown to their science. They are further puzzled by how highly evolved the forms are, although they seem to pre-date humanity. Named "Elder Things," they're actually aliens and you know, alien stories rarely, if ever, go well.

BUMPUSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, after 2 weeks of petsitting for various people, I finally arrive home last night around 8:30pm. I take in the mail and my purse, go unload everything (read: all my crap) out of the car onto the front porch only to discover that I have locked myself out of the F-ing house....

I tried all the windows and the back door, thinking maybe just maybe they might have somehow been left unsecured....uhhhhhh, no. No cell phone reception out in the boondocks as I am, so I just sat on the porch with all my crap and enjoyed the night noises. Cicadas, crickets, a few late-staying little frogs and toads in the (v. v. dry) stream next to the house, wind blowing in the drying leaves...I wasn't creeped out and was quite enjoying myself until I heard the first low growl come out of the dark trees. I had just been about to find a dark corner of the yard for nature's call when I heard this other noise and it was the D*%M dogs from next door. Now I had to pee AND I was pissed off, how ironic.....these dogs harass us ALL the time! As soon as payday rolls around again I'm getting a BB gun as I don't want to maim, merely scared half to death and hurt enough to make an impression on. Did I mention they've been crapping all over my yard? If I wanted dog crap all over my yard, I'd get my own dog.

Anyway, I happened to find a spare car key in my laptop case so packed all the crap BACK in the car, left a note for Roomie asking her to call me on my cell when she got home (which ended up being around 10pm) and left for Dad's so I could go to the bathroom in peace.

After getting home, unloading the car AGAIN, unpacking and getting ready for bed it was around 11:30-midnight so I'm zombie-fied today. I had planned on turning in early so I could get up and on the recumbent bike this morning but no such luck. So I'm planning on it tomorrow instead. I have GOT TO lose some weight before I become a statistic, plus I've got the PLA trip in March to Minneapolis to plan for. I'm calling my effort, Minimize by Minneapolis, what do you think?

Gotta run to teach comp class!
htw

! ! ! this just in ! ! !

Patron--If I have a CD from a test book....?

Me--(in super ESP mode since she didn't bother to finish the sentence) I'm sorry but our computers don't have CD drives. (How our spiffy new library ended up this way is an even longer story that isn't worth telling.)

Patron--So I can't just watch it?

Me--..................

Me--Our computers don't have CD drives.

Patron--.........................

Me--They have a drive door, but the drives were never installed.

Patron--.............................

Patron--okay.


No, you can't just watch it unless you lay back and get it to spinning fast enough on the tip of your nose. You might catch a glimpse of something then....

book cranks

I love a fun, new word! Bookshelves of Doom wins again in pointing me towards this 1887 issure of Book-Lore which describes two "library lunatics" at the Boston Public Library...interview given by the librarian.

you'll never want to date again

The chain of information started at CNN, but I found it on Bookshelves of Doom.

How'd you like to help your boyfriend out with some research on his book in progress? Sounds pretty neat, huh? Would you change your mind if it was titled "Canabalistic Instincts"?

via CNN:

An aspiring horror novelist was arrested after police discovered his girlfriend's torso in his closet, a leg in the refrigerator and bones in a cereal box, the city prosecutor's spokesman said Thursday.

Nearby they found the draft of a novel titled "Cannibalistic Instincts," said the official, who spoke on customary condition of anonymity.

Jose Luis Calva told police he had boiled some of his girlfriend's flesh but that he hadn't eaten it, the spokesman said. (Isn't that real considerate of him?)

The prosecutor's office said Calva tried to escape when officers entered his apartment, but was struck by a car and hasn't recovered enough to give a formal statement to police.

Hey, he's sitting up...can't be that bad!

the par-tay

I will preface this with 2 statements: 1) I'll get pics up as soon as I can but I left my camera dock at home and I won't be finished petsitting until Friday and 2) I typed this up Sunday evening and saved it on my jumpdrive so if there are odd chronological sequences or anything else weird, chalk it up to that please as I am utterly blameless :-)

There was no Joan/Melissa Rivers to cover the Birmingham Museum of Art Junior Patron Pompeii Preview Gala so I guess it’ll just have to be me! I visited a local hair salon to let someone else do the honors for my hair and it was horrendous! I had so much hairspray in my hair that it looked like a dark haystack on my head and that's so far removed from my normal, healthy, glossy hair that I couldn't stand it. I ended up pulling a good portion of it back in a sparkly hair clip and letting it go at that. Everyone else's hair was shiny and sleek, some wavy, some straight but NO ONE with the brittle crap I had on my head! At least the hair clip was pretty. The Gala started at 7pm so I called for a taxi right at 7 so I would not be quite the first person there. Despite my machinations (and my cab driver's utter unfamiliarity with the city in which he works) I was still one of about only 8 or 10 people. The band, City Heat from Atlanta, GA, was great! One of the best bands I’ve ever heard. They played blues and R&B from the 60’s and 70’s and they played it well :-D

Marinated olives; herbed goat cheese; roasted pepper hummus; olive tapenade; julienne zucchini, squash, and carrots; little sandwiches with contents that I have no clue about (tasty though!); tomatoes and capers on toast points; yummy, perfect fruit and a variety of little mini-pastries like éclairs and cannolies. There was an open bar with wine and beer (neither of which I enjoy in particular) but there was a martini table with Lemoncella martinis. At $8 a pop, I was forced to be fairly conservative. I probably would have had an even better time if I’d hit the free booze table a time or two (or three or four?).

I had a good time, but it was kinda lonely. I didn’t see anyone else there by themselves and I had no one to talk to. I did end up sort of sharing a table with a nice couple, both of whom were pretty friendly. They in turn had some friends turn up. One girl was in a wheelchair because she had dropped a large piece of metal on her foot THAT MORNING! A certain amount of severing had taken place *cringe*. But she slung on a cocktail dress and got a friend to bring her. You’ve got to admire that!

I got a second Lemoncella to enjoy with my fruit and pastries then sat back to enjoy the music. Out of the blue, the Lemoncella lady came over and refilled my glass, saying that she’d made too much, “I’ll just top you off.” Of course, I accepted gracefully. The couple and their friends said, “Wow, how did that happen?” I replied, “I don’t know exactly but that’s an $8 martini so I’m takin’ it!” We shared a good laugh. Later, Lemoncella lady brought me another complimentary yummy martini and I began to wonder what her motivation was. I later saw her giving other people in the crowd free cocktails so I wasn’t so uncomfortable with it.

On the people watching front, one of the catering staff was apparently practicing for her spot on America’s Next Top Model, as that was the last place I saw a strut like that. However, when you are up into plus size clothing and are sporting an apron and rubber gloves, something gets lost in translation. Later in the evening she came down the hall in front of the museum store with a full tray of empties. Like Hansel and Gretel, she was plopping empties in the floor with every other step. A trail of shattered beer bottles and yeasty beer followed in her wake but she just kept walking. I got beer splashed on my legs and was just praying that a shard of glass wouldn’t get into my cha-cha strappy sandals! There were plenty of tables where she could have set the tray down and lightened the load but she just kept walking with this little smirk on her face like broken beer bottles littered the floors of museums the world over. The other great people-watching opportunity came in the form of the Scotsman. He was decked out in full kilt garb, even the socks! Dark hair, crew cut, full beard….HOT! He sat across the room so I never got the opportunity to get close and see if the voice matched the outfit.

Overall, the Pompeii exhibit was SpEcTaCuLaR! The body casts were sobering and poignant, but did have as much impact as I had imagined they would. There were a few exceptions. Two figures, which archaeologists pegged as a woman and possibly a teenage daughter, were found together lying on their sides. The smaller figure’s head was cradled on the larger figure’s side and the larger figure seemed to be offering some shelter.

Another of the body casts (suspected to be male) was found alone in a corner sitting alone in a corner with knees drawn to the chest and hands over the face.

The worst one and this holds true for what I’ve seen in books as well as (now) in person, is the famous dog. The human body casts are sad and it’s possible to see the distress and panic in their positions and expressions (for the one’s that you can discern) as they ran, were suffocated or were killed by falling debris but the dog is the only body cast featured in the exhibition where you can see the total agony. The dog was chained with a collar, unable to escape and obviously terrified and in pain. The cast is so exact you can see the little pup’s splayed toes.

My only complaint about the exhibit (and I don’t know how much of that could be/could have been affected by the museum) is the bareness of the body cast displays. I imagine it was done to highlight them so that nothing could compete while you were viewing them but it ended up being to sparse for me. Maybe a large photo showing the cast in situ where it was found and made? Something to give these images some context. To see them simply sitting by themselves on a well painted surface in a dramatic maroon color took away from the mystique for me. It made it look like sloppy sculpture instead of the human remains they really were. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I would have liked to see them with something connecting them to the site where they were found, to lend even more meaning.

I still maintain that this is wonderful exhibit. The jewels these people had, the gold necklaces with emeralds and gold armbands, were finely wrought and achingly delicate. Most of the rings don’t look big enough to fit my toes, much less on someone’s finger. The sculpture is amazing but I’ve always found marble sculpture to be that way. The really fine ones look as if a light breeze will rustle the fabric of the subjects clothing. Even though I know it is made of stone I always feel like it would be soft if I could touch it. The frescos in the exhibition made me want to seriously have some in my home. It is such a dramatic, exotic effect. I have to ask myself if how long I could stand something so permanent and hard to change. I wish I had some friends who painted….

The end of the evening found me outside the museum talking to the guard while I waited for my errant cab driver (why did I call him again?). The promised 15 minutes turned into 20 and then I got a call from him saying he was in the parking lot. Weeelllllll, I was in the parking lot and he most assuredly was not there with me. In my unfailing and obviously misplaced faith, I thought perhaps he just hadn't wanted to come through the gate and was at the end of the parking lot so I walked down there. It's dark and 10:30 at night, alone, female, wearing a sparkly dress.......none of these are good in the area around the museum. A few of the other partygoers leaving at the same time offered their assistance but I, firmly believing my cab was idling just around the corner, thanked them for their assistance and walked on. OF COURSE he was not there. So I call him back and say, "I'm sorry but I just don't see you." This man, who I saw not 2.5 hours ago (and Birmingham, Alabama is not a hotbed of taxi activity), said to me, "You are at the School of Fine Arts, aren't you?" *making a scale with my hands*Birmingham Museum of Art.....Alabama School of Fine Arts......other than the art part, they don't seem that similar to me. Anyway, he sped around the block to me and we set off for Mountain Brook again. I had to lead him out and I had to lead him in. He complained yet again about the lack of street lights in Mountain Brook. Mrs. VH has a dip at the end of her driveway that you have to take at an angle or risk losing the car's exhaust system and I took great pleasure in hearing him try to scrape off the muffler of his cab as he left.

I got the dog walked (in my sparkly dress and purple crocs), the makeup scrubbed off and the hairspray out of my hair and went to bed.

The End.

scintillating saturday scuttlebutt

of which there is none...sorry to get your hopes up! Yesterday when I got back to Rudder's house, Topper had left yet another "present" for me at the back door. If anyone else has ever been the recipient of a "present" from a feline, then you know it involved a piece of plastic and a mighty sling into the woods. All I can say is at least this little guy was all in one piece; I didn't have to make multiple trips or scoop up entrails. Ah, the life of a pet sitter.

I had my first session reading to Mrs. D this morning. She has macular degeneration and the beginnings of demensia (according to she and her husband). I am now up on the week's news in local politics and New York theater. I feel a bit smarter and more cultured today than I did yesterday.

Why am I at my place of work on my day off, posting on my blog you may ask? I forgot my ticket to the cocktail party tonight, left it on the printer Thursday and just now realized it. My subconscious no doubt trying to find a way out of this mess. But I am going! I got a dress and little strappy sandals and a haircut, I have no choice but to go. Later on I've got to find somewhere to get a quick fix on the hair as I do not own any hair products with which to do it myself. When I got the haircut, M said to just put it on some rollers and finger comb it and I confessed that I didn't own any rollers. She told me to just get a cheap set from W-Mrt and I didn't have the heart (read: was too embarrassed) to tell her that I wouldn't know what to do with them if I had them. I've had too much going on in the past decade to deign to learn how to arrange my hair! It's hair for crying out loud! I'd rather sleep later and let the little buggar's dry on the way to work. Isn't that why you have windows in the car anyway?
:-)
unstylish and somewhat proud/sometimes shameful,
htw

friday freakiness

Library celebrity Itchy Butt Man was in today. I heard all about the One Laptop Per Child program in China and some underdeveloped countries thoughout the world. There was one particularly great rant against building libraries and schools because children will be going to kindergarten at Harvard soon. I actually got some spittle on my face from that one but I'm not sure if that's because he is fervent about the program or because he's missing all four teeth up front on top between the canines. It's a tough call...he did tell me to visit "wiksipedia" to learn more about it and I linked it above for your reading convenience.

In other news, a young lady in her early to mid 20's brought in a man suffering from some form of mental retardation and left him with us for a couple of hours. Aside from the occasional and random screaming fit in the bathroom and intermittently stumbling over him lying in the aisles, it was a pretty uneventful visit. She finally came back for him and he seemed quite glad to see her. Is it fair that she no doubt got paid for several more hours of work than she actually did...no, I don't think so. I'll tell you that I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for her in the future to try and make sure this doesn't happen again. This was a grown man physically speaking....what if he'd gotten scared or angry and started a ruckus? It was irresponsible of her to the extreme. Many libraries have unattended children policies, but what about unattended adults who very obviously NEED attending? I'm going to have to investigate that policy-wise. I don't know what I would have done if he'd just started running, yelling, and hitting people. What if he'd just walked out the front door. If it were a child, some staff member would have stopped them and helped them find their parent/guardian/caregiver but what do you do in the case of some one of age? We have a kind of radar for noticing little kids headed towards the door, but I don't notice every move an adult makes up here. I guess it's navitee on my part to assume that adults know what business they are about. Questions, questions, questions and no answers as of yet..........

On the health front there have been a veritable herd of phlem-ers in today. Is there really anything more repulsive and grotesque than that choking/vomiting noise people (99.9% men and most of them older gentlemen by my observation) make while getting snot moved around in there. There's clearing your throat, then there's this other thing people do. I just don't understand how you can reach a sociable age and still make this noise. It is GROSS! I see guys do it and think, "blech! and someone will probably be kissing him later too!" I've had to resort to drastic measures to get some airflow when I've been sick and congested, but I'd never do that in public. Ick.

I have sustained a petsitting injury from Rudder. Twice yesterday, due to my inattention, he ran behind me and away (no worries, retractable leash) and hyperextended my right elbow. Ooooh, I was so mad and of course he just bounces around snapping at dust motes, butterflies and falling leaves so I can't yell or anything, but ooooh I was so mad. A 5lb Schipperke is going to make me have to take Aleve!

In technology news, a lady called wanting "to reserve a novel"...it was so cute, no one ever calls a book by that name anymore. It was cute up until the point when I asked for her library card number and she spat at me, "I didn't know you were going to ask me that!" I just sat there quietly and she said, "Okay, let me look. I have my walk around telephone so I'll just go look in my purse." Wow, the walk around telephone! I wonder if it's any relation to the Walkman?

afternoon ya'll!
htw

slim pickins at Homestead Hollow

candlemaking and longjohns on the line
a Bantam rooster

a rusty car

someone had an exact replica of their full size barn floating in a stagnant, moss covered pond.

I really expected to see more at Homestead Hollow. It is advertised really well (falsely).

ta daaaaaaa!

random pics

I was surprised by how long this little guy sat still for me and my budding interest in nature photography.

I mentioned this rainbow a week or so ago and in true Holley fashion am just now getting the pic up in my House....

This is a bird house I made in a mosaics class Saturday before last, my first EVER! I must admit I was/am pretty proud. I gave it to my mom. It looked even better after I grouted it. Wouldn't that have been a nice photo?

cousins and brothers

Here is Tucker and Cole's cousin Olivia. Isn't she adorable? She wears her eyeliner so well too :-D You can see Tucker's very jealous nose. He did not like the extra attention the new girl was getting.

Rudder, yaaay! I'll be with this little stinker, um....Schipperke...until next Thursday.

This is Topper. The bane of Rudder's existence every bit as much as Rudder is the bane of his. What lovable brothers! and they look so much alike!

little office of horrors

This is my office. Here you can see my sago palm, my purple shamrock, a hen and chick succulent on the corner of my desk and a really nice fake orchid. Just over the orchid leaves you can see the barbed wire of the city jail exercise yard :-D

Oh yeah, the picture frame holds some drawings that one of my fav teens, A, drew! Silly girl, she didn't believe me when I told her I was going to frame them. Notice that the point of this post, the sago palm, is a nice small cute little desk plant.....for now!!! BWAHAAHA!

Here, the spawn of sago is on the rise. Hey, check out my obnoxious diploma frame on the wall!

Anyway, this frond/spear grew overnight! *psycho shower scene music*

Here's the sago spire from another angle, plus my über-messy desk. On the wall hangs the perfect tool for every task, a round tooit. How often have I not been able to get something done becuase I haven't gotten a round tooit......

These little leaves look more like fern fiddleheads than what they are supposed to become.

Now the spire has unfurled and is 3 feet tall! You can see how much bigger than the other fronds the newbie has grown. KT says she always feels like its going to drag her off when she walks past the door.

So that's my office garden for you. Healthy, verdant, possibly evil???

I want one of these!

it's almost like a pet :)

zombies....crafty-like

I can't decide whether it's funny or sad...decide for yourself!

htw

friday ramblins

this blog post comes to you next-day air :)

Once again I sit here with my trusty laptop sans internet connection, trying desperately to refine what I want to say down into something readable. The main problem is that there are no groundbreaking, interesting things to report so I guess it will be yet another ramblin’ Holley original ;-D

I took some vacation from work 10/4, 5, 8, 9 and 10. I did work the weekend but it was with Carrie so a good time was had by all. On 10/4 I did nothing, capital N capital O capital T-H-I-N-G and, like Peter Gibbons, it was everything I thought it could be. I did have a short petsitting stint until the 8th, which you already know about i.e. Tucker, Cole and their cousin Olivia. 10/5 found my little momacita, my Aunt Cathy and I on the road to Springville, Alabama for the Homestead Hollow Fall Harvest Festival. The weather was cool; the sun hiding behind the clouds and a light breeze spread campfire smoke through the trees. The live music I’d expected was not in evidence but they were piping something appropriate through the ground’s speakers. There were a few people in pioneer-type garb, but not as many as advertising would lead you to expect. The special part of the day came when we found the little shack with pinto beans, butter beans and greens bubbling in their own cast iron pots out back….perfectly seasoned, ideal texture and reasonably priced...all you can really ask of outdoor event food and definitely more than I expected :-D I bought some earrings (my personal financial downfall) and a rolling pin (I needed one recently and only then discovered that I didn’t have one). It was a really great day so I was glad I could talk my mom and aunt into going.

As I said, Sat and Sun found me back at the library where Carrie and I had a great weekend considering we were at work….and I got her started on her new blogging life! Hopefully she’ll enjoy it like the rest of us do and keep at it. One of the funny things that happened was naturally a phone call. Just before closing on Sat this man calls, real nasally voice:
Man—Ah yes, I was there earlier today and returned some items in the drop. That is to say, I put some books in the book drop at the back of the building…the one you pull up to in your car.
Me—um, yes. (what I wanted to say, “I’ve only worked here 7 years. I’m afraid I’m unfamiliar with the term ‘book drop.’ Do you think you could try to convey that with an interpretive dance?) Luckily for me, I could harness that impulse.
Man—At that time, I believe I returned some personal items. What I mean by that is I returned some books that belonged to me personally that should not have been returned to the library.
Me—um, yes. (I really didn’t know quite what to say to this gentleman. Everything that immediately came to mind would have gotten me fired…that is to say, I would have been dismissed for my smartass mouth.)

For the rest of the weekend and everywhere I can insert it into the conversation, I follow up statements with “that is to say” or “what I mean by that is”. Everyone is suitably annoyed.

Monday was another slow day of vacay. The director of my library, Ms. M, had asked KT and I to accompany her to her Rotary meeting as the director of the Birmingham Museum of Art was going to be giving a presentation about the upcoming Pompeii exhibit and she thought we should see it. KT had a kindergartener with a stomach virus so I was on my own at the Rotary meeting. I didn’t realize that guests got introduced and barely had time to swallow my lunch before I had to stand and wave. Ms. M then told all those people about the website I put together for the Pompeii exhibit and I thought I’d suffocate with all those people I didn’t know staring at me but I’m here typing so obviously I survived….maybe even felt a little pride? I got an email from the museum librarian today saying how much she liked the website…that gave me another little thrill of victory too :-)

Tuesday was a pretty big day as well. The person I’m petsitting for now, the pets are Rudder and Topper, is one of the library’s regular patrons and one of my good friends, Mrs. VH. She’s also a docent at the Birmingham Museum of Art and had planned on giving a presentation about the exhibit at the library’s book group meeting Tues morning. Instead she and her husband sailed off to Chattanooga, TN, and left me in charge of the dog & cat as well as in charge of giving the presentation. It was fun and all the ladies seemed to enjoy it as well. The book group selection for October was Robert Harris’ Pompeii and I thought it was a pretty good read too. After I finished the presentation, my little momacita and I had lunch together then struck out for the Anniston Museum of Natural History to see the T. rex Sue, on loan from the Field Museum in Chicago….that is one impressive monster! Can you imagine starring that in the face, nothing to protect you but a loincloth and a spear???? EEEEEK! Their other exhibits were also very impressive. They had some Egyptian items and what seemed like a cross-section of the entire African savannah. The bird exhibits were some of the best I’d ever seen. Although, I will say that there is something incredibly creepy about all those blank stares. I can just imagine all sorts of arcane things going on after hours when the lights go off and all the humans leave for the day….BWAHAHAHAHAH!

Unfortunately, little momacita had to go back to work on Wed but I did not. I had the works: obscenely expensive haircut (I only get 1, maybe 2 a year so I splurge), got my eyebrows waxed (thanks for the unibrow, Dad!), got my mani and pedi for the month and had dinner with a friend. It was a great week all in all.

The upcoming weekend holds a first for me. I will attend a very swank cocktail party at the Birmingham Museum of Art. I joined their Junior Patrons group and they are having a Preview Gala Saturday night. So I found some evening wear (always such a pleasant task in plus sizes), some strappy yet comfortable shoes and am now just trying to keep my courage up. I’ve already bought the ticket so it would be harder for me chicken out. We’ll see I guess.

Okay, the babbling has come to an end. You may relax :-D
htw

new blogger on the block...

...my friend Carrie! This blog is so new she hasn't finished the template so there's nothing there to look at yet...but there will be! I wish I was working on commission, Blogger should pay me for this :)
htw

2 down, 10 to go!

I finally got some work done on the Book Awards Reading Challenge I signed up for. I posted two review to the website, so there are only 10 award-winning books to go so I can qualify for a prize! The two I've read so far (and click through to the BARC website if you'd like to read my reviews) are The Pesthouse by Jim Crace and The Panic Hand: Stories by Jonathan Carroll.

Happy Reading!

htw

covet

How cute is this bookcase?!?

Now, if only it were not: a) sold out and b) made/sold by a South African company, making shipping about $1,000,000 dollars!

a lethal combo

What if the Do-It-Yourself Posable Paper David Hasselhoff.......

......put on a pair of Chuck Norris Action Jeans??????

Do you think this would interrupt the space-time continuum? Tear the fabric of the universe? Cause uncontrollable vomiting?

one of my fav books of all time

.....jumping from Rob Zombie, Michael Myers, and the proper way to kill a mass murderer.....

Today Oprah interviewed Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love...one of my fav books of all time! This book really falls more under the umbrella of chick lit even though it's nonfiction, but , my god, what a book! I had to go out and buy my very own copy so I could quit getting anxious every time I wanted to skim it at work and it would not be there for me.

I recommend it to everyone and I'm glad Oprah's helping get the word out. If you've read the book and are wondering and didn't see the interview today, Elizabeth and Felipe got married! I was hoping they would.

night ya'll!
htw

Zombies are Cool!

Rob Zombie is too!

This is a t-shirt I bought from the website of one of my fav authors, Laurell K. Hamilton! You'd have to read the books to understand the penguin reference, there's no way I could explain the complexity of Sigmund here on my blog....check out Laurell's website, better yet her books, and you'll get plenty of penguins in the bargain.

Okay, back to work. So I checked out the original Halloween from the library and watched it Wed night. I could never watch it when I was a kid....just too damn scary.....and I really felt it would give me a point of reference for the new Zombie adaptation. So, I was by myself at home, all the lights on in case I got scared aaaaand....we're off.

OMG, the soundtrack alone had me cracking up in five minutes, there were naked boobies everywhere, and I saw better acting in Army of Darkness! Michael was great, even there, but everyone else just sucked. Whenever he stabbed, only an inch or two of the butcher knife seemed to be making any progress. Not that I'm just dying to see a good stabbing, but special effects have really come a long way since then let me tell ya!

I watched Halloween in its entirety, alone, then went to bed. No nightmares, no gasping awake at a strange noise....nada! Yay for being a grownup!


SPOILERS-SPOILERS-SPOILERS-SPOILERS-SPOILERS!!!!!!




SPOILERS? BUELLER?

In this version, Michael is HUGE! Tyler Mane, the guy who played Sabretooth in the X-Men movies, just looms over everyone. In the original, Michael lumbered just a little and had some trouble getting through those closet doors....no such luck for victims here. He's punching down doors and windows like an F5.

Okay, so you know Michael stabs anything he can get his knife to, but RZ put in a seriously dysfunctional family to explain his psychopathic behavior. It worked, but the suddeness of the boy's murdering in the original kinda seemed a little creepier. There was no reason for him to just all of the sudden start whacking away at people. In this version, there's an alcoholic, abusive step father, the mother is a stripper, and the daughter just seems like your average American teen to me....oh, RZ threw in a little infant sibling just for S's & G's. There's lots of yelling and cursing of a severe variety, some Columbine-esque hazing from school mates (one of whom Micheal beats to death with a tree branch).

I must say here that the blood effects throughout were genius. I've never seen blood look so real. Except for one gaping misedit at the end where someone dies in a very bloody way, facially speaking. Cut to the next scene where he's being dragged into the house and voila! no blood, and his eyeballs came back too. Nobody's perfect I guess?

The main difference between this movie and the original is we get the spiffy new dysfunctional family and a good glimpse of Michael's life in the asylum. No sheet-clad figure carjacking the huge Griswold Family Truckster, no sirree. Lots of blood, lots of bodies, and a very Terminator-like stealing of a trucker's clothes. And try to say you didn't laugh during the bathroom scene even though you knew he was going to get his head bashed in!

Jamie Lee Curtis' part now belongs to the long lost infant sister and the teenage girls are just as vapid and the naked boobies are still there. One other point we noticed was that there was one (1) cell phone in this movie, everyone else was on a corded landline. RZ kept you on your toes as to what decade this movie was truly in.

One funny thing I have to point out...in the original movie, JL Curtis' blond friend sneaks off to make out with her boyfriend, equally blond but wearing these ginormous square Elton John glasses and RZ let the same character in this movie keep them....touche :)

The ending was changed, thank goodness, and Laurie got to do the killing instead of Dr. Loomis. RZ had this great effect where her screams were riding the wail of police sirens like a surfer catching waves.

My tip of the week? When you're straddling your first mass murderer and the .357 clicks on an empty chamber...go ahead and pull the trigger 5 more times just to make sure. Does anyone else out there count the gun shots when you know someone's got a gun with a cylinder instead of a clip?

Okay, that was really a ramble of nonsense, but I did try to take better notes this time to remind myself of what I wanted to say.

night ya'll!
htw

oh yeah!

Rob Zombie's Halloween was AWESOME!!!! but I'm too tired to blog anymore tonight so you'll just have to wait :)

htw

rainbows and rapture

no rapture today I'm afraid, that's just a title of one of my fav romance novels but I liked the alliteration.

It was a great day today nonetheless! My diploma FINALLY ARRIVED!!!! So naturally I HAD to go to the library and put it in the obnoxiously big and expensive diploma frame I purchased! I'll try to post some pictures this weekend as it is very special. While winding my way through the tiny kingdom on my way to the library, a rainbow peeked out from behind the clouds and I'll have those photos ready to post by the weekend too (hopefully!).

I didn't drive all the way to the library (it's an hour commute one way to work every morning) just to put my diploma up, but I would have :) A gentleman was referred to me by the director of the library and he needed someone to read to his wife. She has macular degeneration and the beginnings of dementia and he said she retained things better when people read to her rather than just listening to a book on tape or CD. We're going to give it try and see how we both like each other starting next saturday. I'll go over and read to her from 9am to noon. It'll take some time from my weekends, but I'm being well compensated as well as feeling good about doing something that seems (at least to me) to really improve someone's quality of life.

I've offered to do this for one of my fav patrons, Mrs. G, as she is 94 and suffers from macular degeneration as well, but she started crying and said she needed to get off the phone. I'll ask her again later. Off topic, but she was 9 years old when Carter found King Tut's tomb and remembers reading about it in all the papers and she and her friends playing endless tomb/egyptian/mummy games after that....you'd have to be dead to not think that is one of the most awesome things you've ever heard!

My ADD moment of the night, here's a new word I saw on one of the legions of blogs I've shouldered the loving burden of reading daily:
vomitrocious
You're lying if you say you won't be using when the very first opportunity presents itself!

htw

the week in review 2 of 2

so while I and crazy contest lady are dukin' it out on the phone, one of my past students is on her everlasting quest for every book every put out by the Top Secret Recipe people. She was in my comp class several years ago and that's what she wanted to learn for at the time, so she could keep on the cutting edge of those super sluethy secret recipes! KT was helping her and I could tell Mrs. Top Secret was trying to stall until I got off the phone.

I finally finished with crazy contest lady and quick as a bunny, Mrs. TS was there. We exchanged the requisite hey-howya-doin's and whatuv-you-been-up-to's and I got to hear all about her domineering husband who won't let her watch the station she likes, listen to the musics she wants to, and is thwarting her efforts to clean the house out so their kids won't have so much to do when they die. Now, as a general rule I have never historically had a problem discussing death with patrons old, young or anywhere in between, but she was seriously creeping me out.

Aaaaaand it got worse. We were winding up the conversation and I simply said to have a gr8 day and stay out of trouble. She glanced back at me with be best coquettish look I've seen on an octogenarian, EVER, and said, "but I'm so innocent, I've never been in trouble!" I politely laughed as the situation seemed to call for it and she took that as her invite to come on back for more conversation. Somehow she told me that her husband had purchased her off the slave block in Jamaica after the war. She sounded like she'd been in the South all her life, what was I to say? She looked dead serious. Her point, as she gleefully pointed out, was that she'd married YOUNG and never been anything but a housewife. At this point, and I could now feel reality slipping through my fingers like the finest sand, she leaned in conspiratorially and said, "I had a man friend, apart from my husband, as just a friend you know....(as an aside with eyes cast upward) oh dear, he's been dead some time now....and when the whole Clinton/Lewinsky thing was going on he was the only one I could as what a b _ _ _ j _ _ was...and he told me!" Gleeful old thing the whole time.

Now, when I woke up on that particular fine morning I had no idea I'd be discussing......um.....wind employment.....with a lady old enough to be my great grandmother....or that SHE'D be the one to bring it up. AND she really looked as if she'd like to pursue the matter further but THANK GOD ABOVE my phone rang!!!! I gave her my best imitation of an apologetic smile and devoted my entire being, my entire philosophy of customer service, into that one phone call. I hope it was the most helpful one they'd ever had.

oh dear....I'm so glad that week is over. I'll be haunted by the mental image of Mrs. TS and her "man friend" forevermore.....

htw

the week in review 1 of 2

I had two especially wacko patron encounters last week and wouldn't you just know it, I wrote a few words down for each very optimistically hoping I'd remember what happened....it pays to infrequently be an optimist :(

But I'm going to try anyway....that these two events happened back to back makes it even harder to keep them straight and true in my mind, I just snicker too hard.

As I've mentioned before, I teach computer classes for learning internet/email basics for senior citizens at the library where I work. Sometimes other people do the booking of the classes, it just depends on whose shift at the desk it is when people call in. Well, for this doozy it was mine.

Patron-I've heard that you have computer classes there, is that true?

Me-Yes ma'am, we certainly do. Are you interested in learning how to get on the internet and email?

Patron-No, I don't want to get on the internet, I just want to do my hobby. I do contests. Couldn't I just peek in when the next one starts and you show me how to do my contests?

Me-Well, the class teaches you the basics you need to get on the internet and surf around as well as using an email account. That would cover your contests, I believe.

Patron-I don't want all of that! I can't do it! Now listen, I only have a middle school education! I dropped out to get married and now you want me to do all this stuff?! I've never even sat down at a computer before! I just want to do my contests. Did you know that the M&M's are giving away MILLIONS of dollars, but you have to use a computer to even see the rules. I remember when you could just fill out a 3x5 card.....

Me-I really believe this class would be beneficial for you! We go over the parts of the computer, the keys on the keyboard and how to use a mouse. It's a great beginner class. We'll be meeting each Thurs in Oct from 10-11am and the class is $30.

Patron-Well I don't want to do all that! I do not want to get on the internet, I just want to do my contests! All that other stuff? Couldn't I just get my grandkids to come over and show me that stuff and not pay you anything?

Me-(WHAT I SHOULD HAVE SAID) You certainly could, but I can't tell you how many of my students have tried that route and not had success. Younger family members don't often understand how to teach this at a beginner level because....
(WHAT CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH) You know what? You are completely correct and I'm terribly sorry for wasting so much of your time. I don't think we have what you need here (thorazine, demerol, prozac?) and again I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

Patron-*very pleased sounding*Of course not, don't worry! Thank you for taking the time to talk with me!

----------------------------
Now, am I being paranoid or what she not curaaaaazy!? I am usually the last one to abandon ship when attempting to help someone but I just got tired of banging my head against the wall trying to get her to understand that her FREAKIN' CONTESTS were ON the internet! Ah well, I'm glad I don't have to teach her and she's glad to have forced me into submission to her superior point so I guess it was a win-win.....


TO BE CONTINUED......

new charge!

I start petsitting Tucker and Cole today, but with the exciting addition of Cousin Olivia the Basset Hound. I love basset hounds so I'm excited that she is joining our crew for the weekend. She belongs to my usual client's parents. I'll have all kinds of interesting stuff later because I've been making notes, she has internet access in her house, and KT and I are going to see Rob Zombie's Halloween tonight!
htw

demon barbar of fleet street

this movie looks gr8! The accent is a little too Jack Sparrow for me, but I don't think I'll have any trouble getting over it! Plus with Alan Rickman, (I think) the chick who played (and still looks like) Bellatrix LeStrange, and Sasha Cohen....I'm going :)

Here's the Cinematical post, click through to get to the new trailer!

commentary on the youth of the nation....

....you may safely put aside those reports that today's teens are computer literate and totally in an online world. Just now, a young lady approached the desk to tell me that there was something "wrong with her computer." As we walked over to her workstation, she told me that there was "a big o' hole, a space, between her words, her paragraphs and she kain't make it goway."
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The delete key worked for me. Her problem, absolutely nothing wrong with the computer.



20 MINUTES LATER....


.....same young lady, new problem. Now mom's involved.

"Excuse me, there's something wrong with my daughter's computer (yeah, I'm sure). It keeps deleting the words she's typing." Mind you, she's speaking so softly that I could not hear a word she said the first time around. I asked her to speak up, but she leaned in VERY closely and remained at the same volume. I caught both what she said and a whiff of her coffee breath. FANNNtastic. As I suspected, the problem lay not with the computer but rather with an errant pinkie on its way to the delete key...the pesky Insert key strikes again. I showed her where it was, how to recognize it was on, and how to turn it off...you know, those complex toggle buttons will get you every time!

These are simple, basic keyboarding principles as far as I know.

this just in ! ! !

Patron: I'm looking for a book and I don't know the author. Can you help me find it?

Me: Sure, what is the title?

Patron: I don't know, but it has four words and one of them is "kindness"

Me: ........

Me: .........

Me: Do you know anything about what the book is about?

Patron: No

Me: Is it a recently published book?

Patron: It's new-er....

After a lengthy keyword search limited to books published since 2000, we managed to whittle it down to Christopher Bohjalian (how the hell do you pronounce that!?), Before You Know Kindness. We're reasonably sure that's the one.

ABOUT 15 MINUTES LATER...

Patron: Do you have any Advil or Ibuprofen?

Me: I think so, let me go check.

Me (with Advil bottle): Here you go!

Patron: Yeah, I got a papercut on the way over here and didn't have anything in my purse and I told my daughter, "They get alot of papercuts at the library, I bet they'll have something!"

Me: Yep, headaches and papercuts...we got em! (my sarcasm went, thankfully for my smart mouth, unnoticed...)

I say, with the utmost seriousness and sincerity, that I have never gotten a papercut that required medication on my part. I wish now that I'd have asked to see this gaping wound.

Afternoon ya'll!

htw

spend no $ mantra.....

......falls dead in the face of selfishness

science tattoos (...I want one! not one of these, one of my own)

.....then is redeemed by the fact that I had to borrow $ from my mom to make it to payday...so validating at the age of 30 :-(

htw